Come Back to Me
by Montana-Rosalie
Summary: Killian loses all his memories. Emma is the only one who can help him remember.
1. Prologue

**Set about a year after Hook comes to Storybrooke; he and Emma are now a couple living together with Henry. Gold wants someone to test a spell on, Emma owes him a favor still, but Killian isn't about to let her get hurt, so he volunteers instead. Spoilers for everything up to 2x09, also AU because it the show Emma can cross the town line. I don't know how long is this gonna be because I don't usually write long fics, but I think it's got potential to have about 20 chapters. I can't remember when was the last time I shipped something as hard as I do Captain Swan, so... Hope you enjoy.**

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Killian Jones steps over the town line, and the world goes black. It's like someone had flipped a switch, turning out all the lights, only it's worse, because the darkness is absolute.

"Killian?" Emma says his name softly, but she can't hide the fear in her voice, not from him. He turns around and grins in her general direction, to let her know he's still the same, that he can still remember everything.

"Do you know who you are?" Rumpelstiltskinasks, and Killian nods.

"I do. There's just one problem", he tells him, amazed at the fact that he sounds as cool as ever, even though he feels adrift in the sea of black, without a single star to guide his way. It's only when Emma speaks that he feels less alone, and not so very lost anymore, her voice like a beacon in the night over stormy sea.

"What's wrong?" She's coming closer, and he puts out his hand to keep her on the safe side, because he knows she would come to him no matter the danger if she thought he needed her help.

"Mind the line, miss Swan", Rumpelstiltskin says, and Emma stops moving. Still, she's so close he can smell her; wild flowers in her shampoo and something else that he can never put his finger on.

"What's the problem, Captain?"

"I can't see," Killian says, cringing inwardly at the way his voice breaks. He's fighting the urge to rub his eyes because he knows it wouldn't help dispel the darkness. This is something magical, and there's nothing wrong with his eyes that rubbing can fix.

"What?" Emma gasps, and she's even closer now, probably toeing that line no one can cross without losing their memories. Except he did, just now.

"Emma, stop", he says, hoping he's facing her and not empty air. "Magic never comes without a price. Isn't that right, Mr. Gold?"

"You knew this would happen?" Emma moves away, probably to get into Rumpelstiltskin's face, which is fine with Killian because Rumpelstiltskin always stays at least ten feet from the line.

"I did. The Captain is right; you can't get something for nothing."

"So in order to make a spell that would allow you to cross the town line and keep your memories, you were ready to sacrifice your sight?" Emma sounds incredulous, and it's exactly how Killian feels, because he never thought the Dark One was capable of sacrifice, for anyone or anything.

"Yes," Rumpelstiltskin answers, and he sounds so calm and completely sincere, that even Killian is tempted to believe him, but he knows better than to trust a crocodile.

"Okay. You tested your spell, it works, now give me back my sight", Killian demands, trying for nonchalance. Emma comes back within arm's length, so clearly he's fooling no one.

"You're gonna be fine in a minute", she whispers, for his ears only, and he knows she can see through his bravado as easily as he can through hers.

"Just come back to this side of the line, Captain, and you should be able to see again," Rumpelstiltskin says offhandedly, as if his mind is already busy with other things.

"Should?" Emma sounds exasperated and anxious, and Killian gets a bad, bad feeling, but what choice does he have? She can't come to him, and he's not going out in the world without her, blind or not.

Taking a deep breath, he outstretches his hand toward Emma, their fingers meet and entwine, she tugs him forward and he steps back over the line.

The world is black, but this time, both inside and out**.**

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	2. Tabula Rasa

**First, I wanna thank everybody who read, reviewed, favorited and followed this story, I really appreciate every single one of you. Second, enjoy. :)**

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Emma knows it didn't work even without looking up at his face and seeing him stare somewhere over her shoulder, knows it by the way his fingers grasp hers like she's his lifeline, like she's the only thing tethering him to the world around him.

"Can you see anything?" She asks, hating the way her voice trembles, her fingers now gripping his, as she reaches up with her free hand to tilt his head down toward her. He doesn't meet her eyes, and she blinks, fast, because she's not gonna cry, because she's gonna be strong for both of them.

"I- I can't. Why can't I see?" There's a desperate note in his voice, and it scares Emma more than anything else. He's always fearless, no matter the circumstances, and she's not really sure what to do, how to respond, how to reassure him.

"It seems my spell doesn't work like it should after all", Gold offers, and Killian frowns. He looks so confused and not like himself at all, his whole stance changing in a blink of an eye. There's a hole in Emma's stomach, cold fear gripping her and getting worse by the second.

"Spell? What are you talking about?" There's panic creeping into Killian's voice, and Emma tries her best to stay calm when all she wants to do is turn around and shoot Gold in the face.

"The spell that would allow Gold to go over the town line, remember?" She asks, sliding her hand from Killian's face to his chest, offering support he clearly needs. His heart is beating so hard and fast she feels it in her palm, even through his shirt and jacket and flesh.

A part of her already knows what the answer is gonna be, but she tries to ignore it, tries to hold onto hope that he's still Killian, that he knows who she is and how good they are together.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Who are you?" He steps away from her, and her hand falls to her side. It's like a knife in her gut, like the worse nightmare she can think of aside from losing Henry.

"Killian-"

"Who the bloody hell is Killian?" He bellows, and he sounds exactly like he always does when he's pissed off; Emma would be fooled into believing he's fine after all, except for the fact that their fingers still remain firmly entwined.

"You're Killian", Emma tells him. _You're Killian, and you love me and Henry, and you promised you'd never leave me, _she screams internally, but doesn't say another word out loud.

"Also known as Captain Hook", Gold offers, and if looks could kill, Emma's glare would be the end of him.

"No, I'm not", Killian says, his voice so soft Emma leans closer not to miss anything else he might say. "But I don't know who I am."

Emma closes her eyes and shakes her head, because this can't be happening, she can't lose him like this, not after everything they've been through.

"A word, miss Swan", Gold motions to the side, and when Emma tries to pull her hand away in order to follow, Killian's grip grows painful.

"Don't- Don't go", he says, his blue eyes wide, blinking fast, as if he's trying to penetrate the darkness in front of him and find her.

"I just need to speak to Gold for a minute, just across the road", she tells him, trying to sound calm and reassuring, the way she talks to Henry when he's had a nightmare.

"Can't you both stay here and talk?" He asks her, and that's how Emma knows her Killian is gone; he would never plead like this, he would never cling to her hand if he could help it.

Gold walks over to them and looks at Killian as if he's some kind of a circus attraction and Emma fights the urge to punch him, shoving her hand in her pocket.

"What did you do?" She asks, moving closer to Killian, as if to shield him from Gold, even though it's too late for that.

"_I_ didn't do anything. The spell clearly worked okay when Captain went in that direction", Gold says, motioning over his shoulder toward the town line, "only it didn't work when he came back." He shrugs like this is nothing, like it's just an unfortunate turn of events that doesn't bother anyone. Emma feels like screaming, but she remains calm for Killian's sake.

"How do we fix it?"

Gold shakes his head. "I don't know. I need to-"

"You need to give me a useful answer right now", Emma snaps, and Killian flinches. She can't do this, can't hold both of them together. And yet, she does. She takes a deep breath, stands on her tiptoes and kisses Killian's cheek. "You're gonna be okay. I'll help you and you're gonna be fine, I promise." When she pulls back and looks at him, his eyes are closed, his head down, and Emma wants to just stand there, count his dark eyelashes and pretend nothing is wrong.

"This kind of spell is tricky. There are no guarantees. The best I can offer you is this: make him remember who he is, Emma, and I should expect his sight would return too. I'll go work on the counter-spell, but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you." With that, he turns around and walks away, leaving her and Killian standing in the middle of the road, both rooted to the spot and unsure what to do next.

"Your name is Emma Swan, and we're… together?" Killian speaks first, and Gold is forgotten, her world narrowing to just her and him, and the fact he still says her name like he used to is giving her hope that this can be fixed, that he can go back to who he used to be.

"Yes, I am, and we are", she says breathlessly, trying not to sound too hopeful and failing miserably. She waits for a flicker of recognition in his eyes, but when he opens them and his gaze fastens on nothing she realizes she's in for a lot of pain and disappointment.

"Are we in love?"

"I am, and I think you are too. We don't really talk about it", she says, because she doesn't want to make him feel pressured.

"I'm sorry I can't remember who you are", he tells her, and no amount of blinking in the world would help her keep the tears from spilling down her cheeks. He seems more bothered by the fact he can't remember her than he is about not being able to remember his own name.

"I'll help you remember", Emma says with more conviction than she actually feels.

"What if you can't?" He asks, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he swallows. Emma wipes at her eyes and hopes he won't cry, because then she'd really fall apart.

"Then we'll find another way to get your sight back," Emma says firmly, and she doesn't even want to entertain the thought of failing.

"What if there's no other way? Are you gonna leave me then?" He looks mortified with his words, and hastens to add: "Because even though I don't know who I am and who you are, the thought of losing you makes me want to punch something."

For the first time today, Emma smiles.

"That's good!"

"How is that good?!"

"It means you're still you, even if you don't remember. And I'm never gonna leave you, not as long as you want me to stay," Emma adds, the need to close the distance between them and kiss him properly so overwhelming she barely resists. Killian relaxes a bit, rubbing his stump against his hip.

"What happened to my hand?" He asks, but he doesn't seem surprised that it's missing in the first place. "Is that why… Gold, calls me Captain Hook? Do I usually have a hook, like in Peter Pan?"

"_Rumpelstiltskin_ cut it off," Emma answers the easiest of his questions, and wonders where to even begin telling him his story, and their story, and everything in between, because it seems he's aware of the fairytale from this land, but doesn't know he was part of it.

"Excuse me? Rumple-what?" He looks confused and impatient, and it would be cute if circumstances were different, because it reminds her how he used to be when he first came to Storybrooke, every ordinary thing like a little miracle to him.

"How about we go home first, and see if something there will jog your memory. Then I can start telling you everything if it doesn't, okay?" It's getting late and it looks like it's gonna rain, she can't remember if they ate anything today, but none of that is what prompts her to stop this conversation.

"We live together?"

"Yes. You, me, and my son, Henry."

"Your son… But not mine?" It's questions like this, questions she needs to answer truthfully but carefully, because she can't believe how betrayed he looks, as if it's painful for him to hear that she had someone else before him.

"I had him way before I met you, but you love him like your own and he loves you too," she says quickly, tugging him in the direction of town. They start walking and he doesn't ask anything else, his steps slow and hesitant at first, but growing more confident when he realizes she's gonna lead him around every bump in the road, warn him every time they step up or down a sidewalk and never let him stumble.

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	3. Welcome Home

**I swear, this fic seems to be writing itself; the first draft has about 11000 words after barely a week. Thanks again for all the encouragement, and I hope you keep enjoying it as the story progresses.**

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Emma fumbles with the key, dropping it twice before she finally gets it into the keyhole. Before she can turn it, the door swings wide open and Henry slams into her, pressing his head against her stomach, hugging her tightly.

"You were gone for hours!" He says, his voice muffled, and Emma holds him for a minute, feeling Killian's presence behind her like a wall of worry and bad news she doesn't know how to deliver.

Henry pulls away first and attempts to go around her to Killian, but Emma stops him with a hand on his shoulder and a shake of her head.

"Killian? Are you okay?" He asks hesitantly, and Emma turns to see Killian's response to the boy who came to mean so much to him in the past year.

"I'm blind and I can't remember anything, but other than that, I'm fine", he says, and offers a brave smile in Henry's direction. Henry shrugs off Emma's hand and wraps his arms around Killian, who looks surprised and uncertain at first, but soon recovers and returns the hug like it's the most natural thing to do.

Snow and David appear in the doorway and exchange a look that makes Emma long for the feel of Killian's skin against hers, for his eyes meeting hers in perfect understanding the way her parents' do.

"The spell didn't work?" Snow asks softly, and Emma shakes her head.

"It worked at first, only he was blind, but then when he came back, the memories were gone, and his sight didn't return."

She feels so defeated and hopeless, but her voice doesn't waver at all, but then her father pulls her in for a hug and she falls apart.

"Dad", she says, her voice breaking, standing there, a grown woman with a child of her own, clinging to her father and sobbing loudly, unable to stop herself even though she knows it's stupid and pointless. Nobody died, there's hope that everything can be fixed, but the more David tries to soothe her, the it is to pull herself together.

"Emma. Calm down," Snow tells her firmly, pulling her away from David and wiping her tears away.

"Snow-"

"Come on inside, all of you", her mother orders and everybody files into the living room, Henry leading Killian, and Emma feels foolish and ashamed. She sniffles and sits on the sofa next to Killian, while her parents take Henry in the kitchen to "make some cocoa and sandwiches". Cocoa seems to be the fix for most of the problems in the Charming family.

"Sorry about earlier", Emma says meekly, taking off her jacket. "You wanna take that off? They overheated the place again."

Killian shrugs out of the jacket that used to belong to her father and Emma puts it on the arm of the sofa next to hers, stalling for time.

"How come your parents sound so young?" He asks, ignoring her apology. His fingers are restlessly tracing the flowery pattern on the sofa cushion between them as if he's trying to figure what it is.

"It's a long, long story."

"I've got time", he tells her with a grin that is one hundred percent Hook, and she can't help smirking back.

"I don't even know where to begin."

"Well, first you could tell me what kind of name is Snow."

"It's short, for Snow White", Snow says from the kitchen, and Emma almost laughs at the incredulous look on Killian's face.

"Wait, what? Your mother is Snow White, I'm Captain Hook, and you're what, Odette?"

Emma embraces the sarcasm, because it's more him than that docile man from half an hour ago.

"The Swan princess? No. I'm just Emma, but yes, my parents are Snow White and prince Charming, or David in this world, and you were Captain Hook." Although neither the hook nor the pirate attire had lasted beyond his first month in Storybrooke, but Emma doesn't tell him that. She thinks it would only confuse him if she just dove into the story at such a random place, so she doesn't even try.

"This world?"

"I told you, it's a long story. There was a curse, and most of the fairytale characters were transported here, to a world without magic, without their memories, until I broke the curse last year."

"I'm sorry, but that sounds crazy", he tells her, leaning against the back of the sofa and closing his eyes. Emma is too distracted by the line of his throat and his perfect profile to respond, even though she agrees that it does sound crazy.

"Emma?" He prompts, still sprawled there, and she sits up straighter and forces herself to focus.

"It is crazy, but it doesn't mean it's not true. When I first came to this town, I didn't believe it either, but I promise, I'm telling you the truth."

He doesn't say anything for a while, but then he turns his head toward her and opens his eyes, so blue against his pale face and dark hair, for the first time tonight meeting hers. She knows it's just a coincidence, knows that he can't really see her, but it still feels good, like nothing had happened, like they're still the same.

"The way I see it, you could be anybody, telling me anything you want, and I'd never know."

Emma starts to object, but he cuts her off.

"And yet, I trust you. I don't know why, but it's like I know you wouldn't deceive me or lie to me." He gives her that sad smile that doesn't reach his eyes, the one he usually only gives her when they fight and she's being too stubborn to see reason. "But I still think it's ridiculous that I'm Captain Hook."

"What's ridiculous is me falling for a pirate, and yet, here we are", Emma says softly, and covers his hand with hers.

"Cocoa is ready", Henry announces, carrying a tray with three cups and sandwiches. "Mary Margaret wants to talk to you", he tells Emma, his tongue sticking out as he puts the tray down, careful not to spill anything.

"Who-"

"That's Snow's name in this land, from when she didn't know she was Snow", Henry explains, and Emma thinks that it's gonna take a long time for her to fill Killian in on all that's happened.

"I'm gonna go to the kitchen for a bit, and Henry will keep you company", she tells him and gets up. He finds her wrist and she looks down, resisting the urge to brush away a lock of hair from his forehead.

"Thanks for putting up with me", he tells her, and she smiles, hoping he can hear it in her voice when she says: "It's what I do."

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Snow and David sit at the counter, sipping their cocoa, and Emma sits down between them, putting her head in her hands.

"I don't know how to help him", she says, and Snow runs her fingers through her hair for a while, saying nothing.

"If he wasn't blind, I could show him pictures and places, and that would surely jog his memory." Emma can't remember the last time she was this whiny, but the circumstances and quiet understanding of her parents are making her feel like a child with too much on her plate.

"You can still show him those things; you just need to figure out how to incorporate his other senses. It's gonna be harder, but not impossible", Snow tells her, and David agrees. "I think you should focus more on telling him your story, though, how you met and fell in love, and it'll come back eventually."

"Everything was so good, and we were finally together, and now this happens. I could strangle Gold", Emma says, and David shakes his head.

"What was he trying to accomplish with that spell?"

"He wants to find his son, and he doesn't care about the consequences. The worse thing is, I can relate." Emma grimaces at the thought of being anything like Gold, but when it comes to their children, she is.

"Speaking of Henry, do you want us to take him for a few days?" Snow asks, and Emma shrugs.

"I think he'll be good for Killian. They had that instant connection, so maybe he can help too."

"Okay. We're gonna go now, it's getting late. You eat something, and if you need anything, give us a call."

"Dad… Can you cover for me at work? I think I need to stay home and try to figure this out", Emma says, and David gives her that perfect prince Charming smile that always makes her smile too.

"Of course. I loved being a sheriff when you two fell into that portal. Didn't like the part of you being lost, though", he adds, and Snow kisses him. Emma hates being jealous of her own parents, but the urge to kiss Killian is getting worse. It's been hours since she did it, and she knows it's gonna be days, possibly weeks before she can do it again.

Emma remains in the kitchen while they say goodbye to Henry, and when she comes back to the living room her cocoa is already cold.

"We were wondering, where is Killian gonna sleep?" Henry asks, and Killian hides uncertainty with a yawn. Emma is uncertain herself, because he belongs in their bed with her, but that's probably the last place he wants to sleep.

"I don't know. Where do you want to sleep?" Emma asks, and Killian seems surprised that she's giving him a choice.

"Where do I usually sleep?"

"With mom," Henry answers, and Emma can see this is gonna be awkward.

"Okay", Killian says, and Emma frowns.

"You won't mind? Maybe I should take the couch", Emma offers, thinking that maybe he just doesn't want to offend her.

"Why would I mind sharing a bed with someone who feels and smells as good as you?" He asks, and Emma blushes like a schoolgirl, but this is just the thing he would say and she welcomes it.

"I'm gonna go to bed now," Henry says quickly, smiling to himself. Before he's gone, he kisses Emma's cheek and lays a hand on Killian's shoulder, and Emma can't help thinking that he's growing up too fast.

"Our bed it is, then", Emma says and Killian stands up, and suddenly they are so close, almost chest to chest, his hand reaching for hers and finding her hip. They stand frozen like that, and Emma closes her eyes, inhaling his scent, and wishing he would come back to her.

"Lead the way, then", he finally says and Emma turns, covering his hand with hers and taking him to their room.

Every place their skin connects is like a pool of fire, and there's nothing Emma can do about it.

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The lights in the bedroom are out and they are equal in the dark. They've both showered and it's well past midnight, but neither can fall asleep. Emma changes positions a hundred and one times, from her left side to her stomach to her right side and back, but they are all wrong.

The only position that would work is her head on Killian's shoulder, their legs entwined and she can't have that.

She can almost feel him, warm and solid on the other side of the bed, motionless but not sleeping. Emma stares at the dark ceiling and tries to figure out what to say. He was always the one she could talk to freely, from the day they met, and this awkward silence is killing her.

Eventually, she falls asleep, aware that he does not.

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	4. This is Who You Are

**Here we go, another chapter. ;) Thanks for all the encouragement, and I hope you'll keep reading. Someone asked why doesn't Emma try "true love's kiss"; aside from the fact that then the fic would end in the first chapter, I believe that it only works if two people are in love, and Killian doesn't love Emma right now, even if she does feel familiar to him. On with the story...**

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Emma is floating somewhere between sleeping and waking; she's aware of her surroundings, but she's too comfortable to wake up fully. Her nose is pressed against Killian's shoulder, and her hand is on his chest, right over his heart, which is beating slowly and steadily.

All at once, she remembers the previous day and her eyes snap open. Slowly, she disentangles herself from him and sits up, breathing a sigh of relief when she realizes Killian is still asleep.

He looks different when he's asleep, younger, softer somehow, even with the scruff covering his cheeks. Emma sits there and lets her eyes roam over his face, over his nose and lips and closed eyes, and it's easy to pretend yesterday was just a bad dream.

"Do you make it a habit of watching me sleep?" He startles her, his eyes still closed, the corner of his mouth lifting.

Emma sputters a bit, shifts her position, and finally answers. "Usually, I don't."

"Why now, then?" He asks, and Emma shrugs.

"I don't know. It just happened. How did you know?"

"I guessed, then you confirmed it", he says, finally opening his eyes. The grin that was beginning to form turns into a frown as his eyes move from left to right before closing again.

"Still can't see?" Emma asks, even though it's quite clear he can't.

"No. I don't know why I even expected-" he trails off, and Emma stares in surprise as a single tear glistens on his lashes, trembles there for a moment, then rolls down his cheek. She catches it on her thumb, her knuckles caressing his face in the process.

Every time she thinks this can't be any harder, he proves her wrong.

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After breakfast, during which Henry barely closes his mouth enough to eat a bowl of cereal before school, Emma guides Killian around the apartment, and they both learn the number of steps between kitchen and bedroom, bathroom and living room, Henry's room and back door, and everything in between.

Killian sits on the sofa as she gathers various mementos of his life and their relationship and then they sift through them. He holds his spyglass and hook in his hand, then a snow globe of Storybrooke, which he brought her a couple of months after he came through the portal, expecting her to be as amazed as he was. She had laughed at his face, told him she wasn't 5 years old, but had still kept it. She describes every picture she's got of them, most of them taken at various parties Snow had thrown over the past year, and the progression from reluctant friends to lovers is so painfully obvious Emma feels a little thrown, a little emotional.

After about an hour of that, Killian gets up and just walks away. He doesn't say anything, he just takes those 13 steps and slams the bedroom door. Emma lies down on the sofa and stares at the snow globe until it gets blurry.

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"Emma", he asks from the doorway, and she sits up, glancing at the clock. It's been nearly two hours, during which she did absolutely nothing except thinking how unfair this is and how helpless she feels.

"Still here", she says, and he comes back to sit next to her.

"I apologize for-"

"Don't. I dumped everything on you at once and obviously it's the wrong way to go", Emma says and sets the snow globe on the table.

"It's just so… overwhelming. I can't see and I can't remember anything, and it's all too much", he says, shaking his head.

"I understand. I was so focused on how much I want you to remember that I hadn't realized how hard this is for you."

"I think it's worse for you", he says softly, and Emma stares at his profile, and she can almost feel him on her fingertips.

"I think you're right", she says, a trace of laughter in her voice. It's only been a day, and she needs to get a grip. This isn't the end of the world, even if it feels like it is.

"Then you wouldn't mind trading places?" He asks, and a smile is creeping into his voice too.

"I wouldn't." It comes out in a hurry, then she thinks about it and she realizes she really wouldn't mind; she's trade places with him in a heartbeat.

"This conversation is as pointless as everything we did today", he says, and the dark mood returns.

"We ate breakfast. That wasn't pointless", Emma says meekly, already feeling exhausted and ready for bed, and it's not even noon yet.

Killian leans forward with his elbows on his knees and from Emma's perspective it looks like he's staring at the carpet, finding the pattern absolutely captivating. Hesitantly, she puts her hand on his back and starts rubbing it, her entire body tingling from the feel of his muscles underneath the black T-shirt he's wearing.

"Close your eyes", she orders, and he turns his head toward her, his gaze just a little off.

"What difference does it make?"

"Just do as I say for once", Emma snaps, and to her surprise, he does.

"Now don't think, just feel", she says and starts massaging his shoulders, getting on her knees to get better access. Her thighs are pressed against his back and it's like going back in time to countless times she did that since they got together.

"You were the one who thought me how to do this. I never had anybody who would stick around long enough for me to get used to doing something for them just because I could. I was so selfish before you, taking what I could and giving nothing back, but I'm not like that anymore. You made me better, and now I'm gonna do whatever it takes to help you, and you're gonna have to get used to it."

"Tell me how we met", he says, and Emma does. She tells him how her and Snow fell though the portal to the Magic land, how they joined forces with Aurora and Mulan and found him in their ravaged camp. She doesn't gloss over anything, tells him exactly how suspicious she was of him and how she left him on top of the beanstalk because even then she could feel herself falling. She hadn't let herself admit it then, but it was always there.

"If you left me there, how did I end up here?" he asks, and Emma sits back on her heels and tells him about the magical bean he got from the giant and how she punched him and abandoned him the second time, but he still managed to cross from that realm to this.

"You just don't give up, even when it's bad for your health", she chuckles, and he turns toward her, his eyes locking onto hers.

"Do you think I came here not just to exact revenge on Rumpelstiltskin, but also because of you?"

"I don't know. I like to think you did, but in all honesty, I think you were too focused on revenge at the time. But you definitely liked me from the start. You're a great actor, but even you couldn't hide the fact that I hurt you when I left you like that."

"That doesn't sound very pirate-like", he says, rising his eyebrows in self-mockery.

"Sometimes you are too pirate-like it borders on ridiculous. You keep calling me lass and princess and a dozen other nicknames that drive me crazy, you're so superstitious it would be cute if it wasn't so annoying, and you've got this uncanny ability to predict the weather perfectly. Not to mention how you can't stay away from the water for more than a few days. And you're pretty good with a sword."

"Do I have a ship? I think I do, but I can't tell if I actually know that or I just think a pirate should have one."

"You had a ship, the Jolly Roger. It kinda blew up. Now you have a boat." Emma searches his face for any sign of recognition, and finds nothing.

"Is it called Emma?"

"No, it's called Henry", Emma says, feeling so hopeless, because she would give anything for just a single memory coming back to him.

"That was just a stab in the dark, none of that rings any bells", he says and Emma decides they need to stop this for today.

"It's only been a day. Give it time", she tells him, but it sounds more like she's trying to convince herself.

"Keep telling yourself that, darling", he says, and it's like déjà vu, because he said those exact words to her when she told him that she doesn't feel anything for him and never would.

He sits up and smiles. "I said that to you before. It was raining and you were mad at me."

"Yes", Emma agrees, smiling widely because it's the miracle she'd been hoping for.

His hand slides over the sofa upholstery to cover hers, and it's like coming home. They sit like that for a while, his thumb tracing circles on her skin, their breathing in perfect sync.

It may take some time, but they will be alright.

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**Review?**


	5. We Meet Again

**Here we go, a flashback to Hook encountering Emma for the first time after he and Cora arrive in Storybrooke. Since I can't predict what the writers are gonna do with that in the show, there's bound to be big differences once the future episodes air, but since this is an AU anyway, don't pay them any mind. Also, from now on the fic will alternate between present chapters (like the first three), and flashback chapters like this one, in which we learn how Emma and Hook came to be together at the same time Killian does. Anyway, hope you enjoy. :D**

* * *

_Storybrooke, one year ago_

Emma walks Henry to school and then goes to the police station to help David with the paperwork he hadn't known how to fill while she and Snow were gone. She's still not used to the idea that he's her father, because she never really spent that much time alone with him. Still, working with him is easy, and they get everything done by lunch, meeting Snow and Henry at Granny's.

She's just about to dig into her lasagna when she glances up, and sees Hook on the other side of the street.

"How did he get here?" Snow exclaims, noticing Emma's gaping expression and following her gaze. Ruby pauses next to their table and shifts the tray in her hands.

"That's one hot pirate."

"Who is he?" Henry asks, almost pressing his nose to the glass in an attempt to see better.

"Is that Hook?" David asks Snow, but he doesn't wait for an answer. By the time Emma puts down her fork and gets up, he's already storming out of the diner.

"You mean Captain Hook?!" Henry calls after David, scrambling to get out of the booth and follow him.

"Oh no you don't", Emma says, turning him around and gently pushing him toward Snow. "Stay with him", she tells her and races out of the diner, arriving just in time to see David punch Hook right in the face.

"That's for helping Cora", David says, and Emma freezes.

"David… If he's here, then-"

"Yes love, Cora is here too", Hook says, his lip bleeding. He wipes it off with his sleeve and gives her a bright smile that makes her want to punch him too. Again.

"But how?" Emma asks, crossing her arms over her chest. This is gonna end badly, she can tell.

Hook shows her the necklace around his neck, the magical bean hanging from it. Instead of being dry and dead, it's green, and when she steps closer and touches it, it's warm and obviously very alive. The look he's giving her can only be called suggestive, and she drops the bean quickly and steps back, trying to fight the warm feeling that suddenly overwhelms her. She thinks she should feel angry at him for allowing Cora to come here with him, annoyed that he's here in the first place and tired of his innuendos, but she doesn't feel any of it.

All she feels is joy.

"Where is Cora now?" David demands, stepping around Emma and grabbing the lapels of Hook's coat.

"I don't know and I don't care", Hook tells him, jabbing him in the ribs with the dull edge of his hook. David doubles over and Emma takes the opportunity to push them apart.

"Just stop it, both of you!"

"Emma-" they start in unison, then glare daggers at each other.

"What were you even doing here?" Emma asks, turning to Hook.

"I was walking down the street, minding my own business when he came out of nowhere and punched me", Hook answers with a shrug, feigning innocence. There's a spark in his eyes when he leans closer and adds: "Don't worry, I wasn't spying on you."

"But you were spying on someone", Emma says, making herself hold his gaze as long as it takes to prove she's not affected by him.

"You know why I'm here", he tells her, his voice low, and for a moment Emma thinks it's because of her.

"What is he talking about?" David asks, and Emma shakes herself.

"He wants to kill Gold."

"Why?"

"What's it to you?" Hook asks, shooting a warning glance Emma's way. She opens her mouth to tell David about Milah, but instead she points at his hook.

"That's why."

"As a sheriff of this town-"

"I'm the sheriff, remember?" Emma says, getting between them again and placing a hand on David's chest. "Let me handle him."

"No objections here", Hook says, and David looks like he's about ready to punch him again.

"Hook, please shut up", she says over her shoulder, and to her surprise, he's actually silent as David stares him down and threatens to kill him if he touches on hair on Emma's head. Then he goes back to the diner, throwing a murderous glance back at Hook before he disappears inside.

"Is that your man?" Hook asks, and Emma can't help but laugh, both at his wording and the look on his face. If she didn't knew better, she'd think he was jealous.

"That is my father", she finally says, and Hook looks confused, but he quickly recovers.

"He's with the prissy lass with the weird hair, then", he says, and Emma feels offended on Snow's behalf.

"First of all, those are my parents you're talking about, and second, you can't run around town spying on people. Leave Gold alone, or you'll have to deal with me. He's not the same man who took your hand anymore."

Hook just raises his eyebrows at her, then backs her into the wall and leans really close before he speaks.

"I've waited for a long time for my revenge, and no one is going to stop me, especially not a little princess who thinks she's the law."

Emma pushes him away and grounds her teeth.

"I _am_ the law, Hook, and you better not cross me, or I swear to God, I will-"

"You will what?"

"I will throw you in jail."

"I'm quaking in my boots", he says, and he looks so amused, as if she's some girl who doesn't know what she's doing.

"I'm not gonna tell you again. Stay away from Gold and his shop. In fact, stay away from this entire street."

With that, she walks away without a second glance at him.

* * *

"You know he's still out there, right?" David asks when she gets back in the diner.

"Can I go out and meet him?" Henry asks, looking at Emma with his head cocked to the side, practically bouncing on his feet.

"Why would you want to meet him?" Emma sits back down and takes a bite of her cold lasagna.

"He's a pirate, like Jack Sparrow but better because he's got a hook and cooler clothes and he's _real_."

"Snow, help me out here."

"He's a bad man, Henry. Pirates are only fun in Disney movies, if that."

"And his clothes are ridiculous", Emma adds, cursing him silently because no one should look that good in all that leather.

"He's not a bad man, you're just really prejudiced."

Emma and Snow look at each other and smile. David huffs, and Emma wonders if maybe Henry is right, because for every bad thing Hook did, there was a good one, and if she's being completely honest, he could've kicked her ass in that sword fight at least a dozen times.

She wonders why he hadn't.

* * *

Three days later, she catches him loitering on the same street corner. He doesn't even have the decency to look sheepish as she storms up to him and pulls out the handcuffs.

"You're coming with me", she says, and he's just leaning on the wall, his eyebrow rising in challenge.

"Are you arresting me, sheriff, or did you have something more interesting in mind?"

"I told you to stay away, you didn't, and now you're going to jail", Emma says, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

"And how do you plan to-"

Before he can finish, Emma hits him upside the head with the butt of her gun. She's surprised when she realizes she hadn't enjoyed that as much as she thought she would.

* * *

Emma comes back from her break and finds Hook sitting in her chair, going through her drawers.

"How did you get out?"

"Come on, Emma. You hadn't really thought that I wouldn't pick that measly lock."

Emma rolls her eyes. "Back inside", she orders, pointing to the jail cell.

"Are you gonna hit me again if I don't go?" He mocks her, and she fumes silently for a moment before coming closer and leaning down so that their noses are almost touching.

"Listen Hook-"

"My name is Killian."

"Listen, _Hook_. I didn't tell you to stay away from Gold because I thought you could harm him in some way. You have no idea how powerful he is, and I don't particularly wish for you two to get into it, because a lot of people could get hurt in the crossfire."

"I don't intend to hurt anyone except the crocodile", he tells her, and suddenly Emma is so very aware of the position she's in, her legs between his, her left hand on the table and right on Hook's shoulder. Not to mention that if either one of them moves for just an inch their lips are gonna meet.

"Maybe you don't, but it's still gonna happen if you insist on doing that revenge thing."

"That _revenge thing_ was all I was focused on for years, and now that I'm finally close, you think I'll just give up?"

Emma gives him her best smile, complete with fluttery eyelashes and a tilt of her head.

"It's either that or I lock you up again", she tells him sweetly, her hand going for her gun again.

Before she can reach it, he gets up in one fluid motion, backs her up against the wall and pins her there with his body. He's got both of her hands above her head and his lips are against her ear when he speaks.

"There's no jail cell that will hold me, darling, and I'd sooner die than let _Rumpelstiltskin _get away with what he did to me."

With that, he's gone, and Emma finds it difficult to remember how to breathe again. She presses her hand to her heart and finds it racing, and with horror realizes she'd never been more turned on in her life.

* * *

**Review?**


	6. A Day At Sea

**I can't believe that this story is on the alert list of 100 people; it's such a heady feeling, and I'm eternally greatful for all your support. I hope you keep reading and enjoying it, and you can expect the next chapter on Saturday, since 3 day gap between chapters seems to be working. Now, on with the story...  
**

* * *

Emma wakes to Killian's fingers tracing over her cheek, down her nose and to her lips. His touch is feather light, as if he's trying really hard not to disturb her sleep. She doesn't mind, because waking up to the feeling of his skin is still the best thing in the world, and it's the reason she keeps her eyes closed and keeps breathing regularly with hope of prolonging whatever he's doing.

His fingers trace her chin and up her other cheek to her forehead, then tangle in her hair, combing through it slowly up to the ends of it splayed over her pillow.

"I wish I could see you", he says softly, sighing heavily, a sound so lonely, like he's got the weight of the entire world on his shoulders.

Emma opens her eyes, raising her hand and wrapping her fingers around his wrist. She wishes she could take his pain and make it disappear, she wishes she could wave a magic wand and make him remember, make everything right again. Killian is propped up on his elbow, his eyes focused on her forehead, and he's clearly embarrassed and a bit anxious of her reaction to his explorations.

"I thought you were asleep… which makes it even creepier, I guess", he adds sheepishly, and Emma smiles, shaking her head.

"It's not creepy. It felt… nice", she says, running her thumb over his wrist. Her other hand cups his face and he leans into it, closing his eyes, his lips parting as he relaxes.

She wants to kiss him so badly, and he's so close, so warm, his scent filling her with every breath she takes, making her long for things she can't have anymore, for the feel of his hand on other, more intimate parts of her. Still, this is good too, this is proof that even though he can't remember, he still feels close to her, he still trusts her enough to let her touch him.

"Tell me what you remember", she prompts him, her eyes wandering over his face like his fingers did over hers just a moment ago.

"I remember the sky, and the ocean. I remember a castle in the clouds, and a swirling lake, and snow. There's this feeling every time you touch me; it's so familiar, like something from a dream I keep forgetting the more I try to remember…" he trails off, smiling sadly, and Emma feels her heart breaking for him, for her brave pirate who is still the same, only doesn't hide his vulnerability because there's no image he needs to protect. We are all a sum of our experiences and memories, and without that there are only occasional glimpses of who he used to be.

"I'm sorry if I've been too clingy for the past few days; it feels like I'm the only person in the world when I'm not touching you and I hate that feeling because it doesn't feel right. I know I'm not like that, but I can't help it."

"You're not to clingy, I promise", Emma tells him, guiding him to lay down with his head against her shoulder. She puts her arms around him, and they lay like that for a long time, finding comfort in each other.

* * *

Since it's Sunday and there's no school, Emma lets Henry sleep in. She makes pancakes for breakfast, Killian sitting at the counter with his head propped on the back of his hand.

Emma tells him her parents' story, all the ups and downs they've had, always finding their way back. She hopes it will be the same for the two of them, a happy ending after all.

"I still find it hard to believe that the fairytales are real", he says, shaking his head. "Much less that I'm supposed to be Captain Hook. I don't feel very pirate-y."

Emma puts a plate with pancakes in front of him, watching as his hand slides over the counter until he locates it.

"Right now you don't look pirate-y at all", she says with a smile. He's wearing gray pajama bottoms and a white T-shirt, his feet bare. "We could take Henry and spend a day on the boat. You taught me how to sail, so we can even take it out into the bay, if you want. We don't have to if you'd rather stay at home. Whatever you want to do is fi-"

"Emma", he says, smiling up at her. "You're babbling", he teases, and Emma smiles back.

"So we're going?"

"We've been cooped up for too long anyway."

"Henry, breakfast! We're going to the marina as soon as you eat", Emma yells down the hallway, then sits next to Killian and digs into her pancakes.

Henry joins them in less than ten minutes.

* * *

Killian is standing at the helm, his hand resting on it gently, and for the first time he doesn't look out of place or uncertain.

"A little to the left", Emma says, and he turns it expertly, just for the right amount. It appears that sailing is ingrained into him, impossible to forget even when all else is gone.

Emma looks up at him and he's so beautiful like this, grinning like a child on Christmas morning, his eyes so bright and alive, bluer than the sea around them.

Henry is on his other side and he leans back to smile at Emma, giving her a silent thumbs up. Emma winks and lays her head against Killian's shoulder, the hope in her raising with every passing moment.

* * *

They eat lunch on the deck and it's a peaceful day, the sun shining brightly, soft breeze playing with Emma's hair until she loses patience and makes a messy bun with the pencil Henry gives her. He and Killian talk about school and books Henry is reading, about his favorite fairytales, and Emma is sitting crosslegged next to Killian, watching their faces and thinking how grateful she is for both of them, even under the circumstances. To her surprise, Killian is familiar with most of the fairytales, and Henry tells him who the characters are in this world, where they live in Storybrooke and what they do.

The day slowly draws to an end and they return the boat to the marina. Killian steps off so confidently that for a moment Emma thinks his sight had returned. He offers her his hand and presses her knuckles to his lips when she's back on the dock, leaning over her hand with grace that would put her own father to shame.

Henry chuckles and Killian raises an eyebrow in her direction.

"What?"

"It's a gesture we aren't used to; it's considered old-fashioned in this world", Emma tells him, linking her arm through his as they start toward town.

"It felt like something I was supposed to do", Killian tells her, and Emma smiles.

"It used to annoy me so much. I couldn't get out of my car without you offering assistance."

"And secretly you loved it", Henry says over his shoulder, walking in front of them, swinging the picnic basket they brought their lunch in.

"And secretly I loved it", she agrees.

* * *

They run into Gold and Belle in front of the library, and the positive feeling of the day is gone.

Emma demands answers, Gold tells her he's working on it, and Belle, Killian and Henry stand around in uncomfortable silence.

After that, it all goes downhill. Emma is silently fuming all the way home, Henry goes to his room claiming some unfinished homework as soon as they reach it, and Killian is so completely lost in thought he almost walks into a wall as soon as Emma lets go of him.

After dinner, they sit on the sofa, their joined hands resting on her thigh, neither attempting to start a conversation.

Emma tells herself that there wasn't enough time for any real progress, that she should be grateful for the fact he still remembers sailing and fairytales, but it's so hard when all she wants is for him to remember her. It's selfish, but she wants proof that he loves her, and what better proof is there than him forgetting everything else and still remembering her. It's not enough that she's familiar to him, that he's aware of how perfectly she fits into his arms; she wants him to remember her more than she ever wanted anything else.

She doesn't realize that she's crying until a tear lands on his hand and he traces her arm up to her face, wiping her tears with his knuckles.

"I don't think I'll ever remember everything", he says, and Emma shakes her head.

"It's only been a few days", she says automatically, the same mantra that keeps playing in her own head.

"I think we should go back to the way we were living before this happened."

"What are you saying?"

"You need to go back to work, Emma", he tells her, running his thumb over her cheek in a soothing motion that fails to make her feel any better. The gentler he is, the more she longs for her Captain, the way he would pull her against him and kiss her so passionately she would see fireworks.

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Henry has to go to school, and you'd be alone all morning", Emma says incredulously.

"I'll straighten things up a little around here", he says with a sad smile, and Emma is speechless because it is the exact same sentence he said to her when he first started living with them. She laughed so hard then, but she's not laughing now.

"I don't think that's such a good idea", Emma tells him, her eyes closed because she can't bear being so close to him without kissing him.

He pulls away, and she opens her eyes, marveling at the way his eyes darken as his mood changes from resignation to anger.

"Because I'm blind?!"

"Because I don't think you should be alone."

"Because I'm blind," he says, and it's not a question.

"Killian-"

"I'm sick of feeling weak. I've had enough of that this week to last me a lifetime. Okay?"

"Okay," Emma agrees, because she can't say no to him, and because deep down she knows he's right. Maybe they need to go back to their life and everything else would fall into place.

"Good. Now let's go to bed. There won't be sleeping in for you tomorrow, my dear sheriff."

He gets up and offers her his hand, and Emma lets him lead her toward their bedroom, like he had done countless times before. There are two things different; the way he's trailing the wall with his stump and the fact that there's no hope for what Emma longs for the most; their bodies uniting in a dance as old as time.

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**Review?**


	7. Save Me

**Believe it ****or not, I'm almost done with writing the first draft of the entire fic, in less than a month, and that's how much Captain Swan has taken over my life. Thanks for your input, I hope you enjoy another glimpse in the past.  
**

* * *

_Storybrooke, eleven months ago_

Emma keeps running into Hook. She turns the corner and he's there, leaning against the wall and staring at her, as if she's the one he'd been waiting for. She tells him to go away, he tells her it's a free country and he can be anywhere he wants. She walks away feeling strangely amused, looking at him over her shoulder, the smile he's giving her making her want to return it. He's hanging around her office, Henry's school and the little house she rented out because it was getting too crowded at Mary Margaret's apartment. The only place she never sees him is around Gold's shop, but she gets the feeling he doesn't want her to caught him there, not because he's afraid she'd arrest him, but for some other, darker reason.

There's a definite feeling of calm before the storm in the air, as if the entire Storybrooke is holding its breath for what's to come. Cora and Regina are weirdly withdrawn, doing God knows what, and Gold seems to be strangely docile, spending time with Belle at the library or taking her out to lunch at Granny's. It's making Emma nervous, but she doesn't want to disrupt the peace and go poking around, because she's too busy spending time with Henry and her parents, and pretending it annoys her to no end when Hook keeps showing up.

* * *

Everything blows up on a gloomy October morning. Gold storms into her office and tells her that Belle's been abducted. Emma is still a little sleepy; she didn't get much sleep because of a certain handsome pirate parading through her dreams and doing unspeakable, albeit very pleasurable things. Things she enjoyed way too much.

"Are you sure? Maybe she just went to work without saying goodbye."

"I suggest you drink that coffee, miss Swan, and come to the library with me at once."

Emma lifts her eyebrow at him, but follows nonetheless, sipping said coffee as they walk.

The library is a mess, with a few shelves overturned, and books strewn everywhere. Gold looks strangely fragile, picking up a book and smoothing its dog-eared pages before he sets it on the counter.

"Are you ready to take my word for it now, miss Swan? Or do you need more proof?"

"Can you think of anybody who would-" Emma trails off, finishing the coffee in one gulp. Gold gives her a pointed look and starts toward the door and Emma follows. His limp is more pronounced than usual, but she still has to lengthen her steps to catch up.

"This won't be over until one of us is dead", Gold says, and Emma looks over at him, startled at the sudden change in him; it's as if an invisible dark cloud is looming over him, making him all shadow.

"He told me you took someone from him", Emma says, and Gold laughs bitterly.

"Milah was my wife first. He took her from me, I took her from him. And if he takes Belle from me, I will wait until he falls in love and-"

"He won't harm Belle", Emma says, cutting him off before that dark cloud grows and covers them both. "If he meant to do that, he would've already done it. It's you he wants."

"And so he shall receive", Gold says darkly and picks up the pace as the Jolly Roger comes into sight. Storybrooke's harbor is too shallow for it to be docked with other boats, and even though it's moored further away from the shore, it still seems immense.

"How do we get there?" Emma asks, and Gold gets into the closest boat without looking over his shoulder to see if she'll follow. She jumps in and then they're off, the boat moving without a sound, the line snapping and trailing after it like a tail.

"Why did you even come to me if you knew all along Belle would be here?"

"Because I need a little leverage", Gold says and suddenly there are ropes around Emma's ankles and wrists.

Emma struggles for a moment, then sits down and looks up at Gold with her head cocked to the side. "I don't think you understand how leverage works. You need something Hook cares about, and that's not me."

"For someone so smart and resourceful, you can be really daft, miss Swan", Gold tells her as the boat gently kisses Hook's ship. It's even bigger than it seemed from a distance, raising menacingly above their heads, creaking as it sways with the waves.

Gold pulls her on her feet and before she can say "magic", they are standing on the deck across from Hook. The look of surprise on his face lasts less than a second, and then he schools his expression, leaning on his sword and attempting to look bored.

Neither Emma nor Gold are fooled.

"Didn't expect me to bring a friend?" Gold chuckles, and Emma feels a cold shiver running down her spine.

"You might want to untie her if you want her to help you", Hook says, his eyes never leaving Gold.

"You're not as good an actor as you think", Gold says, and there's suddenly a noose tightening around Emma's neck, making her rise on her tiptoes to keep breathing. Hook's eyes flicker toward her and a muscle in his jaw works, and she only notices because of Gold's remark.

"I don't know what are you talking about", Hook says, edging closer to Emma.

"Stay where you are Captain", Gold snaps, and to Emma's surprise, Hook obeys. She forces herself to breathe in slow shallow breaths and concentrate only on her feet, but there are a million thoughts running through her brain and she can't focus on any of them without acknowledging the fact that Hook is worried for her well being.

"Bring her out", Hook bellows over his shoulder and a door opens, Belle coming out, gagged and bound, a man with a red hat pointing a mean looking sword at her back.

Gold smiles reassuringly toward her, and that cloud over his head almost disappears. Almost.

"Here's how this is gonna go", Hook says, his voice as icy as his eyes. "I let her go, you get rid of all your magical protections and we have ourselves a real duel."

"You're forgetting one teeny tiny detail", Gold says, the cloud returning full force as he points at Emma and the noose grows tighter.

Hook shrugs. "I don't know why you think I should care about her fate."

"I don't think, Captain. I know. You're even easier to read than her."

Hook opens his mouth to object, but Gold just keeps talking. "Let me tell you how this is gonna go. Belle comes with me, you get our lovely sheriff, and we let the past go. Or", he pauses for effect, "I kill her, then I kill that pathetic excuse for a pirate in a silly red hat and finally feed you to the sharks. What do you say, dearie?" Gold finishes, chuckling to himself.

Emma can almost see the cogs in Hook's head turning as he tries to find another way out of this. When he finally speaks, his eyes focus on Emma's and the look in his eyes is the same he gave her up on that beanstalk before she left him. The message is "trust me", and she receives it loud and clear.

"Take her heart. I don't care."

Gold looks puzzled for a moment, then he giggles and shakes his head.

"Emma's heart can't be taken. Cora tried and got blown back. Miss Swan told me herself", he says, and Emma curses her own stupidity.

"You're stronger than Cora", Hook says, and he sounds so convinced Emma gets a little worried. "Are you not?"

Gold considers this for a moment, then abruptly turns and buries his hand into Emma's chest. He tugs, and nothing happens. He tries again, and the noose around Emma's neck disappears as he focuses everything on her heart that just won't budge.

Emma smiles and a wave of power comes out of her blowing Gold back head over feet, and he disappears over the edge of the ship.

Hook is at her side even before they hear a splash, cutting through the remaining ropes with a knife.

"You were knocked out when that happened last time", she says, and Hook gives her one of those cocky, dazzling smiles that used to make her roll her eyes at him, but right now she can't remember why.

"Oh come on love, you didn't really believe you knocked me out that easily, right?"

"I hadn't really had time to dwell on it", Emma answers truthfully, rubbing her wrist.

"I was just-"

Emma never hears what was he just because there's a tremendous explosion and the deck beneath their feet buckles violently. They grab onto each other for balance, and Emma watches Belle disappear right before her eyes, her and Gold appearing in the small boat a second later as it races away.

The big ship is creaking so loud Emma can't hear what's Hook trying to tell her as they stumble around, trying to find something to hold onto in order to avoid a crack that begins to split the ship in two.

"We have to jump", Emma yells, but it's easier said than done. The rail is 15 feet away, but it could very well be 15 miles, and for the first time today Emma thinks she's gonna die. It doesn't scare her as it should; she feels strangely calm, as if she's watching all this from somewhere outside herself.

"This way", Hook yells and gives her a boost up to the quarterdeck, away from the crack. He scrambles after her and she grabs his collar to help him up, the muscles in her arms screaming in protest because he's heavier than she had expected.

As soon as he's up he pulls her to her feet and they start toward the rail. The deck is tilted so it's more of a downhill slide, his shoulder slamming against the bottom of the helm. Emma can barely hear his yell of pain over the ship's screaming, which is the most horrible sound she had ever heard, all that wood forcefully coming apart. After a few more bumps (most of which are in Hook's path because hers is relatively clear) they finally hit the rail and tumble over the edge. The fall lasts forever in Emma's mind, and her breath leaves her in a whoosh when she hits the water.

When she breaks the surface and coughs out all the water she had swallowed, the first thing she does isn't to get away from the sinking ship, but to look around for Hook.

"Killian", she screams, barely noticing that she's calling him by his given name, and the relief when he emerges from the blue depths a few feet away nearly makes her sink again. There's a gash on his forehead and he's barely keeping himself afloat with only one arm, but he still gives her a tired smile.

"Swim, Emma. We have to get away from her", he says, and the way his voice breaks on the last word makes her realize he cares more about his ship then he does about his injuries. "Can you see Smee?"

She glances around, but there's no red hat in sight. "I'm sorry", she says softly, but Hook seems to take it all in stride. Emma takes off her boots and pants, shrugs out of her blouse and wraps her arm around his chest, loosening her hold a little when he winces.

"I think I cracked a few ribs", he says as she starts to swim them toward shore, which seems close, but turns out to be really far away. It's not long before she starts lagging. She stops and dives under, wrestling with his boots.

"You can't get us both to shore," he tells her when she comes back up, but Emma is too stubborn to leave him here, relaying on his ability to float until she comes back with a boat.

"Shut up", she says, wraps her arm back around him and keeps swimming.

* * *

**Review?**


	8. Change

**Happy New Year everybody! I hope you have a great one, and all your wishes come true (including Captain Swan becoming cannon). Here's the new chapter, we're back in present Storybrooke... Someone asked if flashback chapters are Killian remembering, but they're not, they're Emma telling him their story. Anyway, hope you enjoy, and as always, thanks for all the encouragement and compliments.**

* * *

When her alarm clock goes off on Monday, Emma doesn't hear it until Killian shakes her a few times, calling her sweetheart and telling her it's time to wake up and go to work. She opens her eyes and reaches for the clock, pushing it off her nightstand. It keeps ringing.

"Oh come on", she grumbles, leaning over the edge of the bed and searching for it, her eyes still half closed.

"That thing could wake the dead", Killian says, and Emma finally finds the off button. He's staring at the ceiling, his fingers wrapped around his stump behind his head, completely relaxed. Emma is instantly suspicious, because he's usually really wired in the morning, as if he needs to readjust every day to the fact that he can't see.

"That's why I have it, although, in 9 cases out of 10, you're the one who drags me out of bed in the morning", Emma tells him, and it's so good to see him smile like this, genuine and so beautiful.

"How did you ever make it without me?" he teases, turning his head toward the sound of her voice, and Emma's grin gets even wider. Maybe he really is in a good mood, and this isn't just a ruse to get her off to work without too much fussing over him.

"I honestly don't know. I was late to a lot of appointments", she says and leans down, quickly pressing her lips against his cheek. She doesn't think about it at all or analyze the possible consequences, she just acts, and when she pulls away he looks surprised, but pleased.

"What was that for?"

"For making sure I'm not late", she tells him and skips off to the bathroom.

* * *

By the time she's supposed to leave the house and actually go to work, Emma doesn't feel that good about leaving him anymore. She knows it's stupid, knows that he doesn't need her watching his every step, but that doesn't change the fact that she's worried about him.

"I'm gonna be fine", he tells her, taking a sip of his coffee as Emma stands in the doorway of the kitchen and tries to find an excuse not to go.

"Mom! I'm gonna be late", Henry calls from the hallway, and she wishes today isn't the day he needs to get to school early because Snow is taking her class on a field trip to the woods.

"You sure you want me to go?" She asks for what feels like the hundredth time, and he rolls his eyes at her.

"This isn't good for my ego", he tells her, and Emma relaxes a bit. If he can joke, then he's okay, right?

"Okay, I'm going", she says and follows Henry out of the house, fighting the urge to go back all the way to the police station.

* * *

Regina comes in a couple of minutes after Emma, pausing at the doorway until Emma waves her hand and invites her inside. She's so worried for Killian she embraces every distraction, even the visit of the other mother of her son.

"What brings you here?"

"I heard about Killian", Regina says, and Emma just nods. She doesn't want to discuss his condition with Regina, and she especially doesn't want her help. "I was wondering… Do you want me to take Henry for a while, only until Killian gets better?" She asks, hastily adding the last part, but Emma still feels threatened.

"I thought we had a deal. He sleeps at your house one night a week and you can take him out for lunch whenever you want if we don't have anything planned", Emma tells her, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"I'm not trying to take him away from you, Emma. I just thought you wanted more time alone with Killian."

"Henry is good for him", Emma says firmly, standing up and moving toward the door. "If that's all, I've got work to do."

Regina hikes her purse higher on her shoulder and moves past Emma, turning back before she's out of the station. "The offer stands. I'll see Henry on Saturday night."

Emma goes back to her desk and tries to find something constructive to do, something that would stop her from thinking about Killian or Henry, and worrying about things she can't help or fix.

* * *

The day goes by slowly, and she's almost disappointed that there's no new drama that would need her attention. No one loses anything, no one gets into a fight and no one disappears, and she'd give anything for something to do, because she's driving herself crazy trying not to think about Killian being home alone.

"Get a grip, Emma. He's a grown man, and he can take care of himself for a couple of hours even if he can't see."

Still, she calls him around 11 o'clock and the phone rings so long she's just about to hang up and go see if he's okay, but then he picks up and she's so relieved she laughs nervously and hangs up before saying anything.

She's on her way home to get Killian and take him out for lunch and she's just about to pass the library when it occurs to her that he's probably going crazy with boredom right about now, because daytime television sucks even when you can see. She ducks in and asks Belle if she's got any audio books. It's a miracle but she does, and Emma goes home with a couple of them, feeling better because this is something that's actually gonna help him, unlike her previous attempts that lead nowhere.

"I'm home", she calls from the door and there's a sound of glass breaking coming from the kitchen. Emma drops the CDs on the table in the hallway and runs into the kitchen, her heart beating fast in anticipation of some disaster awaiting her.

Killian is leaning over the sink, his shoulders tight, his head down, water pooled at his feet and glass everywhere on the floor.

"Don't move", Emma says, relieved that it's nothing life threatening. "Sorry I startled you", she adds, carefully picking up the broken glass.

"What time is it?" He asks her without turning around, and Emma never wanted something as much as she wants to put her arms around his waist and press her cheek against his back. She hates this, hates that she can't just dump all her feelings on him and behave like they're still a couple because they're not. He doesn't remember them getting together, he doesn't remember their first kiss or their last, and waiting for him to make the first move is slowly killing her.

"Nearly 2 p.m. Sorry I'm late, I stopped by the library and-"

"Stop apologizing", he cries out and Emma shuts up immediately. She grits her teeth and her nose wrinkles because he's right. She's not acting like herself but she can't help it that she's worried about him, that she wants to helps him and doesn't know how.

"Fine. I'll stop apologizing and you can stop feeling sorry for yourself."

He goes perfectly still and Emma feels horrible, feeling like an idiot because she goes from one extreme to the other and it's not helping anyone.

"I'm not hungry anymore", he says and brushes past her on the way to the bedroom.

Emma watches him go and wishes she could wake up and start the day again and do everything different.

* * *

"I made you a sandwich", she says from the doorway of their room but doesn't come in. She wants to apologize, but knows he wouldn't appreciate it so she just stands there waiting for his response. He's sitting on the bed with his elbows on his knees, hair falling in his eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks and dripping to the carpet. It feels like a punch in her gut and Emma doesn't know what to do. Again. It seems to be a common occurrence lately. She's frozen, unable to really process what's in front of her, her brain trying to compare this broken shadow of a man with the pirate she loves more than anything else, with the exception of her son.

She risks him exploding again and goes to him, sitting down and pulling him into a tight embrace. He doesn't resist her at all, just lays his head on her shoulder and cries, his shoulders shaking, but no sound coming out.

Emma doesn't say anything because there's nothing to say, no words to make it all better. She just holds him and hopes that her presence and the love she feels for him will help.

* * *

They end up sprawled on the bed, limbs entwined to the point where Emma isn't sure where she stops and he begins. He's not crying anymore, but he's not talking either, and the silence is deafening. Their heads are so close that their noses are almost touching and Emma doesn't fight the urge to trace the scar under his right eye with her finger.

"I'm not gonna pretend that I know what you're going through, but I know a lot about being miserable and closing yourself off and pretending that you're fine until you explode, and it isn't healthy."

"I'm supposed to be some macho pirate, and I can't even get a glass of water without flooding the kitchen," he tells her, his eyes startlingly blue from this close.

"Macho pirates are overrated if you ask me", she tells him, and he frowns.

"Didn't you say you were in love with one?" The corner of his mouth lifts and Emma breathes a sigh of relief because the worst seems to be over. For today.

"I managed to resist him until he dropped the macho act and showed me who he really is."

"I think I need to talk to somebody", he says, and Emma blinks in surprise, not really sure what he's getting at.

"What do you mean?"

"I need to talk someone other than you and Henry", he says, so calmly, like it's the most rational thing in the world.

"Like my dad?"

"He's too close to you", he says softly, and Emma tries not to feel offended, but wonders if he's questioning what she's telling him, and it hurts.

"How about doctor Hopper? He's a therapist Henry used to see back when everybody was still cursed." Emma tries to sound okay with it, but she feels betrayed and hopeless.

"It can't hurt. I'm tired of feeling like this, Emma, and I'll try anything that might help me remember. I still trust you, I just can't talk to you about certain things right now", he says, pulling her closer, his lips pressing against her forehead.

Emma closes her eyes and prays that Archie can help him, because it's painfully obvious she and Henry can't do it all alone.

* * *

Archie comes over that evening, ready to help in any way he can, and Emma leads him into the living room, introducing him to Killian. They both turn toward her expectantly and Emma goes to Henry's room, closing the door behind her.

"Do you think sessions with doctor Hopper will help him remember?" Henry asks her, sitting down next to her on the bed. His hair is tousled and his eyes are bright, and even though he's worried about Killian, all this doesn't hurt him the way it does Emma.

"I hope so."

"I think they will. Maybe he won't remember tonight, but they will help him. Sometimes it's good to talk to someone you can't accidentally hurt."

"How did you get to be so wise, kid?" Emma teases, trying to fix his hair with her fingers, but it keeps sticking up on one side.

"I've been spending a lot of time with Mary Margaret and David", he tells her seriously, and Emma smiles.

"Don't worry, mum, even if he doesn't ever remember you, he's still gonna fall in love with you again", Henry tells her, sounding so convincing that Emma can't help but believe him.

* * *

**Review?**


	9. You're Coming With Me

**Here's another piece Emma and Killian's story as they get inevitably closer. Since the first draft of the fic is finished, I'll be posting new chapters more often now, so you don't have to worry anymore that this is gonna be one of those WIPs that never get finished. Enjoy, and let me know what you think!  
**

* * *

_Storybrooke, eleven months ago_

"He's got three broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder and a mild concussion, but he's tough, he'll be fine. I'll release him in a couple of hours", doctor Whale says, and Emma is relieved. Hook was unconscious by the time she managed to get him to the hospital, with life-saving help from her father. Now she's sitting outside his room, wearing fresh clothes Snow brought her, watching doctor Whale walk away.

"Good. We can go home now", David says and stands up, pulling Snow to her feet.

"We can't leave him here. He'd be a sitting duck for Rumpelstiltskin", Emma says, her chin jutting out stubbornly. "And he's got nowhere to go; his ship sunk, remember."

"You don't owe him anything" David tries to make her see reason, but his heart isn't in it because she's her mother's daughter and she can't be swayed once she's made up her mind.

"I owe him my life, and I'm not leaving him here."

"What do you suggest we do? Take him home with us?" Snow asks, her eyes widening when Emma shrugs.

"No way", David says just as Henry comes around the corner with a bar of chocolate from the vending machine.

"No way what?" He asks, sitting down next to Emma and offering her a piece.

"Fine. Then help me bring him home", Emma tells David, ignoring Henry's question but taking the chocolate.

"And risk putting Henry in danger?" Snow asks, incredulous that her daughter would even suggest something like that.

"I can stay with you and grandpa", Henry says, giving Snow a beaming smile.

"Please don't call me that", David says, and Emma laughs.

"You take Henry, I'll take Hook, and everybody's happy", she says, and Snow rolls her eyes.

"I really don't know what's gotten into you. We were almost stuck in magic land because of his schemes, you kept whining how he's always around once he got here, and now you wanna take him home. You sure you didn't hit your head or something?"

"I wasn't whining", Emma says, "and I don't have a scratch on me. Besides, it's just for a week or so, until I'm certain he can defend himself."

"Let's say Rumpelstiltskin comes for him. What are you gonna do? You'll just get hurt, and he'll still kill him", David says, trying another tactic.

"She's got magic, and Gold knows it. He won't be so anxious to find out what else it can do to him", Snow says, and David puts his hands up in surrender. It's obvious he can't say anything that would change her daughter's mind.

"Then it's settled. I'm gonna go tell him the news", Emma says and gets up. "Take Henry home, but come back later, and bring some of your old clothes", she tells her father before kissing Henry's forehead and going into Hook's room.

"Where am I?" He asks her as soon as she steps inside.

"Didn't doctor Whale tell you?"

"I don't know what's a hospital", he says and shrugs, then winces with pain.

"It's where you go when you're hurt to get better", Emma explains, smiling to herself because it's funny that she even needs to. He looks so different without all the black leather and jewelry, leaning against the two pillows and wearing the white hospital gown. His hook is also missing, and Emma sees his stump for the first time, the scar jagged, as if it was made by someone who hadn't really known what he was doing.

"I'm not hurt", Hook says, and Emma raises her eyebrows at him.

"Hook, come on. You're got three broken ribs, your shoulder is busted and you've got a concussion", she counts on her fingers, and he smiles.

"So we're back to Hook? And just for your information, I've had worse hangovers."

"Maybe you had, but I'm gonna keep an eye on you until you can wield a sword again." But she's not gonna call him Killian, because it makes her feel dangerously close to him.

"What?"

"You're coming home with me", Emma says, and puts up a hand to stop him from turning it into something it's not. He's giving her his most charming smile, and she needs to try and explain that she's not doing this because she likes him or anything like that. "It was obvious that you wouldn't let me get hurt back on your ship, so I'm gonna do the same now. It's just for a week or two, and then you're on your own", she tells him firmly, but he's still smiling _that_ way and she just lets it go. She finds the remote for the TV, drops down in a chair next to his bed and turns it on.

"Those… TVs… How do you get people inside them without magic?" He asks, and Emma looks at him like he'd just fallen from Mars. Then she realizes that he's gonna have questions like that about every ordinary thing in her house, and thinks to herself: _this is gonna be a long week_.

* * *

Dressed in David's old hoodie and jeans, Hook doesn't look like a pirate at all. He's still devastatingly handsome, and Emma tries to tell herself that it's just a hard fact, not personal preference. He could be the most beautiful man in the world and it would mean nothing because she's not interested.

He doesn't say anything during the ride home, just stares out his window, his head leaning against the headrest. Emma drives slower than usual, careful to avoid any bumps in the road because she knows how broken ribs feel and she wants to spare him any further pain. She can't figure out where did this sudden urge to do so came from, but it's there, and she doesn't fight it, like she's fighting everything else connected to Hook.

By the time they get home it's already dark, and she gets a sudden chill when she exits the car. Hook just sits inside until she opens the door for him, and grits his teeth as he climbs out. The silence is getting to her, but she doesn't know how to break it without sounding desperate, so she says nothing.

Finally, after she unlocks the front doors and waits for him to go in, he gives her an awkward half-bow and says: "Ladies first."

Emma wants to roll her eyes at him, but somehow ends up smiling to herself, quickly turning so he won't see it. She leads him to the living room and watches carefully as he lowers himself on her sofa with a sigh.

"I'm gonna go change the sheets in Henry's room and find you something to wear", she tells him, turning the keys in her hands.

"I'm wearing something already", he tells her, looking down at himself in disgust.

"You can't sleep in that", she says flatly, and he lifts an eyebrow, and she just knows what he's gonna say.

"I can sleep naked, then."

"Not in Henry's bed, you can't."

"How about in yours?" There's a sudden flash in Emma's mind of the two of them naked under the sheets, his fingers trailing down her ribs and lower, and she blushes fiercely, and hopes to God he won't notice.

"Are you blushing?" No such luck.

"Of course not. Listen, Hook; today I swam more than I ever did in my life just to save your butt and I'm tired, so can we not do this tonight?"

"Do what?" He feigns innocence, and Emma just looks at him pointedly.

"I'll behave", he says grudgingly, and Emma nods.

"Good. I'll be back in a few minutes. There's food in the fridge, if you want anything." She turns to leave, but his next words stop her in her tracks.

"Thanks, Emma", he says softly, but still loud enough for her to hear that he really means it.

"You're welcome", she says without turning back, because she can't look at him now, afraid as she is that if she does, she won't be able to resist him much longer.

By the time she gets back from Henry's room, he's already asleep in the same position she's left him in.

"Wake up", she whispers, gently, gently shaking his good shoulder. She's leaning over him, and when his eyes slowly open, she can't think of any eyes she'd ever seen that were more beautiful than his. It throws her, because he's a pirate, and a killer and who knows what else, and she isn't supposed to want him, but in that moment, she doesn't care. She just thinks how easy it would be to kiss him, and pulls back at the last possible moment, when his lips are already so close that his breath mingles with hers.

"Come on", she says, offering him a hand, and there's a pregnant pause when they both realize that he can't give her his hand because his right shoulder was dislocated and it would hurt like a son of a bitch. Emma keeps her hand out nonetheless, and he finally offers her his stump, and she instantly knows that this isn't something that happens every day, and when her fingers wrap around it, she feels closer to him than ever before.

She pulls him to his feet and leads him down the hallway, giving him a T-shirt that used to belong to some guy she tried to love after Neal, and David's pajama bottoms. It's a miracle, but helping him change doesn't feel awkward, even though she still feels deeply relieved when he finally gets into bed and she can escape to her room.

She lays in bed for a long time, thinking about the way his skin felt under her fingertips, and trying to convince herself that she's not falling in love. Still, she's fairly certain than if her heart was intact, she'd let him have the first crack at breaking it.

* * *

**Review?**


	10. I Did it For Love

**Once comes back tonight! Have a new chapter while you're waiting, I hope you enjoy. Also, a reminder that this fic goes AU after 2x09, and won't follow canon in the new episodes. Thanks for all the reviews; it really makes me happy to hear you like it.**

* * *

Life goes on. Emma goes back to work, doctor Hopper gets Killian to take O&M classes at the hospital, and he spends mornings there, learning to live in a world of darkness. In the afternoon, the two of them take long walks together, and spend their evenings watching movies with Henry. It feels almost the same as before, but when Emma allows herself to dwell on the past, she's always fiercely nostalgic, and she does her best to hide it from Killian.

A month passes, and the second Gold walks into the police station, Emma knows he's about to turn her world upside down again.

"Miss Swan."

"What do you want?" Emma asks, instantly angry, standing up from the table and walking over to him.

"Careful, dearie, or I might not tell you what I found out", he says, managing to sound threatening even with a smile on his face.

"You found a counter-spell?" Emma asks breathlessly, all her defiance gone.

"Not exactly."

"Then what?"

"Another magical hat", he says, and Emma frowns.

"Weren't they all gone?"

"It shouldn't concern you how I've procured it, you just need to decide if you want to take it and go back to the fairytale land", he says, and there are chills running down Emma's spine at the thought of going back to that place.

"I don't understand what does that have to do with Killian."

"Think, miss Swan. If he remembers, his sight returns. But it works the other way around too."

"The lake!" Emma exclaims, and suddenly feels a bit lightheaded. He's dangling the answer in front of her face, but she's fairly certain he won't hand over the hat without a price. "I bring him the water from the lake, and he'll be able to see again, which means his memories will also return."

"Like magic", Gold adds with a small smile.

"What do you want in return?"

"You owe me a favor once more, miss Swan", Gold says, and Emma nods slowly.

"Can I think about it?"

"Let me know by tomorrow morning", he says curtly, and then he's gone as suddenly as he had appeared.

Emma stands in the middle of her office, closes her eyes and tries to figure out what to do.

* * *

She gets home a bit later than usual and finds Killian alone in the kitchen, doing the dishes. It's like she travelled back in time and stumbled upon a scene from a year ago when that week he was supposed to stay turned into a month and he somehow ended up living with her and Henry for good.

"Where's Henry?" She asks from the doorway, watching his profile in the dim light coming from the hallway and thinking how there never really was a question of whether she would go or not. It's only a matter of time, because she doesn't want to owe Gold another favor if she can help it.

"Doing his homework", Killian answers and puts the last plate to dry.

"Good… that's good", Emma says lamely, and his head turns toward her, his eyes zeroing on hers like he's got some kind of a sixth sense that tells him exactly where she is. It's been happening a lot lately, and if she's being completely honest, it's freaking her out and breaking her heart at the same time because every time his eyes meet hers she feels both like someone punched her in the gut and offered her hope.

"What's wrong?" He asks, coming closer, finding her hand and entwining their fingers while Emma refuses to look up and stubbornly stares at his collarbone.

"Nothing's wrong."

"Then what's right?" He presses her gently, and she just collapses forward and wraps her free hand around his waist, saying nothing, just inhaling his scent and telling herself that she's doing the right thing.

"I just really miss you", she finally says, and she knows that he understands by the way he lets go of her hand and wraps both of his arms around her tightly, but doesn't say that he's there or any such nonsense. She misses her pirate, and he just isn't him.

"I know sweetheart. I know."

* * *

Emma walks into Gold's shop next morning with a sword hanging from her waist, and her father following close behind. She hadn't had a wink of sleep last night, watching over Henry and Killian and showing up at her parents' place before 6 a.m. She knew they would try to stop her, but she needed to tell someone where she was going in case she didn't come back, in case they needed to take care of Henry and Killian. But, instead of stopping her, they both offered to go with her, and she barely managed to convince Snow to stay, telling her that Henry needs her more than she does.

"Your attire means you're accepting my offer, then", Gold says, and Emma nods stiffly.

"Yes. You get one favor, I get a way in _and_ out of fairytale land. Deal?"

"Deal. I didn't expect you to take your father with you", he says, and there's a fine undertone of mockery in his voice.

"As if I'd let her go alone", David tells him, glaring at him.

"How do we get back?" Emma asks, anxious to cut the chit chat and start this journey before anything derails her.

"I open a portal again in twenty-four hours, at the same place you come in. If you're not back, I'll keep trying every day at the same time for a week, and after that I'll assume you're dead and that you're not coming back."

"Wonderful", David mutters and Emma just nods.

"Get ready, dearies", Gold says and throws the hat on the floor, the portal opening instantly, and Emma jumping in after her father, thinking all the while of only one thing: Killian finally looking at her and recognizing her as the woman he loves.

* * *

Exactly twenty-four hours later, Emma and David are laying on the floor of Gold's shop, dirty, tired and hungry, holding hands and breathing heavily as if they had just run a marathon.

"How was your trip?" Gold asks pleasantly, and Emma gets up slowly, feeling a hundred years old and completely defeated. She exits the shop without a word and starts walking home, leaving all the explanations to David.

She needs to figure out how to tell Killian that she had failed, after disappearing on him without explanation.

* * *

He meets her in the hallway as soon as she unlocks the door and comes in, and the fact that he looks pissed off instead of hopeful is a small blessing she hadn't expected.

"Have you gone completely round the bend?" He asks her, crossing his arms in front of his chest and leaning against the wall.

"Can I see Henry before you bite my head off?"

"Did you ever think about what would it do to him, you just disappearing, without telling him or me where are you going?" He steps in front of her when she tries to get past him to Henry's room.

"Killian, please, I just want to see my son", she says, her voice small because she's so ashamed that she upset them both and then came back empty handed, with nothing that would help them forget waking up yesterday morning and finding her gone.

"I can't believe you would do that to him", he says and steps aside, and Emma realizes she'd rather stay here and fight him than face Henry just yet.

"I didn't have a choice", she yells at him, knowing that Henry can hear her but knowing she needs to say it. "If I had told you what I was about to do you'd try to stop me, and you would succeed. You would tell me that Henry having a mother is more important than your sight or your memories, that there's no guarantee that the lake is still there or that it's still got the power to heal you, and that I should just stay here and wait. I know you like the back of my hand, I know every single thing you would say, and that's why I just left. Henry is important to me and I love him more than anything, but I love you too, and I know you would do the same if the roles were reversed, so I did what I had to do." She's breathless by the time she's finished, and she's pretty sure she heard the door of Henry's room opening, but right now she's too focused on what she wants to tell him to let it distract her. "I spent so much time fighting these feelings for you, telling myself that you'd be a bad influence on Henry, telling myself we're fine on our own, all the while knowing that you're the missing piece, and that I'm not only denying myself happiness, but Henry too. You've been a better father to him than I had ever hoped for, and I knew he would be okay with you while I was gone. I wasn't abandoning him, I was leaving him in your care, knowing he'd be just fine."

Killian looks stricken, and Henry comes out of his room and wraps his arm around Emma's waist, pressing his face against her hip. Emma embraces him and runs her fingers through his hair, but she keeps looking at Killian, watching emotions playing across his face as he tries to grasp what she's saying to him.

"What do you think, Henry? Do we forgive her?" He finally says, and Emma laughs, although it comes out more like a cross between a gasp and a sob.

"Of course", Henry says and smiles at her, and Emma leans down and kisses his head.

"Well then, how was your trip?" Killian asks, trying to ask the most important question without asking, and Emma can see he's desperately trying not to get his hopes up, and failing.

"There's no lake anymore", Emma says softly, and it's like a light goes out in his eyes, and they go back to looking as dead as they in fact are.

"What happened to it?" Killian asks, but it's clear he doesn't really care.

"As much as we could gather, there was an earthquake or a magical equivalent of one, and that entire part of the fairytale land is gone."

"And now you owe Gold another favor", he says, shaking his head and brushing past her and Henry on his way to the living room. The sound of very loud rock music fills the house and Emma knows he won't talk to her until he's ready, and she'll have to stay away until that happens unless she wants to risk a severe headache.

"Henry… I was completely sure I would come back", she tells him, and he nods.

"I know. Killian wasn't so sure, though", Henry tells her, giving her absolution easily even though she doesn't deserve one.

"I know, kid. I know."

* * *

The atmosphere in the house is strained all through the day, even Henry ceasing his usual chattering at lunch and dinner. Emma does the laundry and is about to do some cleaning but then realizes that the house hasn't been this spotless in weeks, and it's a clear sign of exactly how upset he was with her absence. She used to find it so hilarious that he would clean when he was stressed or worried about something, scrubbing the floors within an inch of their lives and dusting everything until you couldn't find a speck of dust anywhere. He amazes her more everyday with the way he's adapting to being blind, and for the first time she wonders if he could be happy even without sight.

He finally talks to her as she's getting ready for bed, applying the night crème and sighing as she settles under the covers. She watches as he comes out of the dark bathroom into the dim light of the room, shadows playing over his face as he crosses to his side of the bed without any sign that he can't see where he's going.

"I dreamed about you last night, and I remembered your face", he says, and Emma is wide awake instantly, her heart starting to beat faster and faster, spellbound by the sound of his voice as he talks. "You were standing in bright sunlight and your hair glowed like a halo, and you didn't say anything, just smiled and looked at me. You had on jeans and a red jacket, and there was a sword in your right hand, and a compass in your left. I thought you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and then I woke up and you were still gone. It felt like I was the only person in the world, completely alone in the dark, without any hope of finding either light or other people ever again."

"I'm so sorry", Emma says, scooting closer and wrapping her arm around him. "I'm never gonna do that to you again, I promise", she says, feeling sad for what she put him through, and ecstatic because he remembered her face and thought she was pretty. It's beyond silly, and it shouldn't mean so much to her, but it does.

"Don't make promises you're not certain you can keep", he tells her softly and turns his back on her, her hand sliding off him.

Emma returns to her side of the bed and stares at his back for a long time before she falls asleep, wondering why is it that she always manages to screw everything up.

* * *

**Review?**


	11. Wonders of the Modern World

**Without too much preamble, here's another chapter.**

* * *

_Storybrooke, eleven months ago_

After the first few days when Hook surprises her, being oddly quiet and subdued, letting her take care of him with minimal amount of objections, he's back to his old insufferable self by the time Emma wakes up on a sunny Wednesday morning. He's already up, banging in the kitchen, doing God knows what, so she doesn't waste any time getting up and throwing on yesterday's clothes because the level of noise is raising and she clearly doesn't have time to look for something fresh.

"Hook! What are you doing?" She asks him, practically falling into the kitchen in an attempt to stop him before he breaks something. She marvels at the fact that he even attempted leaving Henry's bed just five days after breaking his ribs.

"I was gonna cook you breakfast, since you were kind enough to let me stay with you and help me, but I couldn't find anything to start a fire with-"

"Start a fire with?! What are you- oh", she finally understands, seeing him looking at her as if _she_'s the one who lost her mind.

"This world isn't like yours, Hook. We don't cook stuff on open fire in the backyard, if that's what you had in mind", she tells him sternly, walking around the kitchen and closing various cupboards and the fridge, which must've been open for a while because there's a puddle at the bottom of it.

"Is this the first time you're inside an actual house?" She asks, unable to hide a smile because she never imagined seeing him so confused, and maybe even a bit ashamed.

"Yes", he says, leaning against the sink and wincing a bit.

"Why don't you sit down and I'll show you how stuff works?"

He does as she says, and Emma turns toward the stove, trying so hard not to laugh out loud.

She explains how the stove works, what's the fridge for and why he shouldn't leave it open. He's hanging on her every word, occasionally exclaiming "brilliant" or "amazing", and adamantly refuses to believe that you can make an omelet in a minute until Emma sets it in front of him and dares him to try it and not like it. He looks at the plate, then back at her and tilts his head to the side, his eyes sparkling with good humor before he finally picks up the fork and digs in.

"This is unbelievable", he says around a mouthful of food, and Emma gives him a little bow, as if it wasn't the most common breakfast in the world. She sits down next to him and eats slowly, resting her head on her hand and watching him shove the eggs in his mouth as if this is his last meal. Or first.

"You are bloody brilliant", he tells her, and she shrugs, giving him a bright smile. She's not gonna argue or reject his compliment.

"I thought this was supposed to be a world without magic", he tells her, looking around the kitchen as if expecting something else to appear out of thin air.

"This isn't magic, this is science", Emma tells him, feeling a weird sense of pride on behalf of people who are responsible for everyday miracles that the world takes for granted.

"Are there more wonders like this?" He asks her, not even trying to hide his excitement.

"Finish your breakfast and I'll show you", Emma says, and spends the rest of the morning doing just that.

* * *

They're sitting on the sofa and watching Disney's Peter Pan, one of the many movies in Henry's fairytale collection, and Emma is laughing so hard there are tears in the corners of her eyes because Hook looks so bewildered with his representation in this world.

"Who made this rubbish, Emma? I want to kill him slowly. Emma, tell me. This is outrageous. I don't look like that at all. Emma. Emma, stop laughing. Emma this isn't funny. Swan, stop!"

The more he objects, the more she laughs, and she's soon completely breathless, her stomach cramping, her jaw hurting so much she wants to calm down, but she can't.

"You did this on purpose just so you could make fun of me", he says sullenly, and she finally gets her giggles under control, more out of a self-preservation instinct than anything else.

"I'm sorry. You should've seen your face just now, it was priceless", she says, wiping away tears, not even trying to deny the reason behind her popping that particular DVD in.

He finally manages to crack a smile, and it transforms his whole face. She was already on the receiving end of that smile, but this time it's not aimed at her, and it's somehow even more devastating. Just then the phone rings and he starts, jumping to his feet and appearing to expect some kind of an attack.

"Relax, it's just the phone", Emma says and climbs over the back of the sofa to reach it. "Hello. Hi, kid. He did what? Put David on. Okay. Hey. What did he say? That doesn't make any sense. Of course we will. Put Henry back on." Emma listens to Henry telling her how much fun it is to stay with David and Mary Margaret, all the while mulling over what David had just told her, trying to figure out what she should do now. Henry finally runs out of the things to say, and she tells him she and Hook watched Peter Pan, and he laughs at her recounting of Hook's reaction. She's aware of Hook's eyes on her during the entire conversation, but she doesn't turn around or acknowledge him at all. When she finally hangs up, she turns slowly and walks back to the sofa where they sit down at the same time. Emma pulls her knees close to her chest and leans against the armrest waiting for him to break the silence.

"What's happened?"

"You don't wanna know how the phone works first?" She asks, and he gives her a look that speaks louder than words. "Gold came by my parents' house."

Hook jumps to his feet again and Emma pulls him back down by the sleeve of David's hoodie he's wearing again.

"He didn't try to take them hostage, if that's what you're worried about."

"If he had, and asked you to bring me to him, you wouldn't tell me", he says, and they both know he's right.

"But he hadn't, he just came to say that he knows where you are but he won't do anything about it if you stay out of his way.

"How bloody generous of him", Hook fumes, breathing heavily and wrapping his arm around his ribs, a muscle jumping in his jaw when he grits his teeth.

"I'll bring you some painkillers", Emma says, but he follows her to the kitchen.

"Does he just expect me to give up on my revenge? I've been waiting for decades to skin him for what he did", Hook rambles, more to himself than to Emma, but is momentarily distracted when she stands in front of him and pops the pill in his open mouth, giving him a glass of water and watching him as he drinks it.

"The way I see it, you don't have much choice. Even if you could lift a sword, which you can't, it would do you no good because Gold's got magic and you saw what he can do with it."

"That's exactly why this doesn't make sense. He can come here and finish me off at his leisure, and instead he's offering us a truce? What kind of a trap is that?"

"You're forgetting one thing", Emma tells him gently, following him back into the living room, where Peter Pan is still playing. Hook looks away in disgust and raises his eyebrows at Emma.

"What thing?"

"Gold has Belle to worry about now. I think he really loves her, and even with all his magic she's still human and vulnerable, and he doesn't want her to get hurt in the crossfire."

Hook considers this for a while, appearing to accept her reasoning, but he doesn't relax at all, and Emma finds out why when he looks at her and asks her if that means she's gonna kick him out now. He sounds resigned, and it shouldn't affect her as much as it does.

"Of course not", Emma says, cursing herself for sounding so adamant. God knows he doesn't need any encouragement, because he's definitely giving her the bedroom eyes now and wiggling his eyebrows in a very suggestive manner. "Oh shut up."

"I didn't say anything", he says, his smile faltering a little.

"It's just a figure of speech", Emma tells him, and the smile is back full force.

"What I meant to say is that this isn't… It doesn't mean that I… It's just until you recover a bit."

"You're even more beautiful when you're flustered, darling", he tells her, and Emma blinks, trying not to blush. There were dozens of guys telling her she was beautiful, so why does it make her breathless when he says it?

"Henry's gonna be here in a while, and I need to start dinner", she says, desperate for a change of subject. "He's been away from home for too long, so from now on, you're sleeping on the sofa."

"Do you want me to help with dinner?" He asks, ignoring the opportunity to tease her about sleeping arrangements. She almost falls off the sofa in amazement because it's the second time today he's offering to cook, and if she's being completely honest, it's a big turn on. But she's never, ever gonna tell him that.

"You can cook?" She asks just to be sure, and he nods, a twinkle in his eye telling her he's onto her.

"Of course. I'm the Captain, and my sailors aren't all that bright, but they expect a meal under any circumstances, such as the cook being sick, or dead. I was forced to learn, otherwise I would've had a mutiny on my hand and hook every other month."

Emma smiles faintly at the pun, deciding to swing by the hospital and ask doctor Whale if he could find Hook some kind of a prosthetic hand, because she won't have him running around with a hook with Henry in the house, and she can't expect him to just get by with one hand.

"Emma?"

"Hm?" She looks up at him, shaking herself back from her reverie.

"You looked… does this bother you?" He asks, raising his stump, which is almost hidden with the sleeve of the hoodie, because David is a bit taller and has longer arms than Hook.

"Don't be ridiculous", Emma says and starts toward the kitchen, because she doesn't want to tell him that it bothers her the wrong way; it doesn't bother her because of the way it looks, it just hurts to think that he had to go through that kind of pain and live without his hand after losing it.

Hook follows her to the kitchen without questioning her answer any further, and then they make dinner.

* * *

The doorbell rings when the meal is almost ready and Emma leaves Hook in charge, racing down the hall to open the door, but it's not Henry standing on her porch. Emma tries to close the door on Regina and Cora, tries to think of a way to fight them off but her gun is at the station and she doesn't have any idea how her magic actually works. She knows she'd been too focused on Hook and Gold, and neglected these two completely, somehow managing to forget how dangerous they are.

"Relax. We're not here to hurt you", Regina says, keeping the door open with a wave of her hand, and Emma's eyes widen in surprise. She comes out on the porch and closes the front door behind her, trying to keep both of them in her line of vision.

"What do you want?"

"We heard about Gold, you and Hook", Cora says, and Regina shots her a warning look.

"I miss Henry", Regina says, sounding so sincere and soft Emma can barely believe her ears.

"What does that have to do with Gold and Hook?" Emma says, her voice like ice. If Regina thinks she can take Henry, she's got another thing coming because Emma would rather die than let her.

"I know you think I'm a bad mother, but I can do better, you just need to give me a chance", Regina says, and Emma steps back. She's glad Henry's running late, even though he's probably not much safer at her parents' place.

"You can't have Henry", she says, and Regina shakes her head.

"I just want to spend some time with him, if he wants to. Just lunch once a week at Granny's or something like that", Regina speaks fast, as if she's hoping to get everything out before Emma objects.

"Why would I let you have even that after everything you've done to me, to the people of this town?"

"Because we-"

"Mother, please. Let me handle this", Regina shuts Cora up and turns back to Emma. "Gold is dangerous and he's strong, but the two of us are stronger than him. If you give me just this one thing, we'll protect everyone you love, not just Henry." The offer is tempting, but Emma feels dirty even thinking about it, trading everybody's safety for Henry's time with this woman.

"You know that everyone means Snow too", Emma says, and she can't believe she's considering this, but she'll need all the help she can get in case Gold is only bluffing.

"Yes", Regina says, and it's clear from that simple word how much Henry means to her.

"I'll talk to Henry. If he wants to have lunch with you I'll let you know, but I'll watch you like a hawk." Emma says, trying not to sound as hostile as she wants to.

"Thank you. We'll go have a talk with Gold right now", Regina says, her smile genuine for the first time since Emma met her. Her and Cora turn and leave her standing there, trying to slow down her racing heart, wondering if she had just made a deal with one Devil to keep in check another.

* * *

David brings Henry back a couple of minutes later, but doesn't stick around because Snow is waiting with dinner at home. He's almost civil with Hook, and Emma is relieved that there would be no need for her to play the peacemaker again.

"You're Captain Hook", Henry says, walking up to Hook and looking up at him with a grin.

"Actually, my name is Killian", Hook says, giving him a genuine smile that almost takes Emma's breath away.

"I'm Henry." Henry tries to look serious as they shake hands, and Emma finds it adorable.

"I know. Your mum was really anxious to get back to you from fairytale land", Hook tells him, and Henry beams at her, his smile as warm as the sun in the sky.

She can see the danger right away, she can see that Henry will fall under Hook's spell as easily as she almost did, and unlike her, he won't put up a wall to keep him out. A part of her knows that she should either kick Hook out right now, or keep Henry as far away from him as possible, but she does neither. Henry is ecstatic that there is a real pirate in the house, even if he doesn't look like one at the moment, and she doesn't have the heart to take that away from him, not after everything else she's already put him through. Emma makes excuses, tells herself this is just temporary, that Henry's gonna be safe here, that Hook doesn't have anywhere else to go and that Gold won't come around and accidentally hurt Henry instead of Hook, but deep down inside she knows that's all s load of bullshit. The only way to keep Henry completely safe is to send Hook packing, and she won't do that, she can't do that. This is her way of apologizing to him for leaving him on top of that beanstalk, and when he meets her eyes over Henry's head, she thinks he knows that even without her saying a single word.

* * *

**Review?**


	12. Mistletoe Kisses

**Everybody seems so excited about this story, so I'm posting another chapter already. Hope you like, and sorry for the tiny cliffhanger.**

* * *

Somehow, without Emma noticing, Christmas sneaks up on them, and she spends two days baking to make up for lost time. Killian isn't really talking to her and she hates the silence with a passion she hadn't thought she was capable of. She burns the cookies twice and starts crying, and she knows it's not the PMS because it usually never bothers her.

Because of their bad moods, Henry is also more subdued than usual, and Emma feels guilty for messing up Christmas for him. She decides she needs to throw a party and do her best to show everybody she's not going anywhere anytime soon. To her surprise, her idea is praised instantly, and it even cracks the ice between her and Killian a bit. Henry goes out to visit with his grandparents and comes back telling Emma he invited everybody to the party and they all accepted the invitation (even Regina). Suddenly her small party turns into something that apparently the entire town is coming to, but since she doesn't want to disappoint people, and especially Henry, she's got no other choice but to get on it.

By the time Christmas morning dawns, she's tired, but content because she's as ready as she's ever gonna be for such a big gathering, and Snow had promised to come and help as soon as she and David "unwrap their presents", which sounded dirtier than she had probably intended. Emma just rolled her eyes and pretended not to notice, trying not to think about her parents having sex.

When Emma opens her eyes and turns toward Killian's side of the bed and finds it empty, there's cold, irrational panic coursing through her veins, making her jump out of the bed, race down the hallway and slide into the living room. She's a bit breathless but relieved because he's sitting on the floor next to Henry, listening to him describing the gifts he got this year as he unwraps them one by one. They both turn their heads toward her, and she tries to play it cool, her heartbeat slowly returning to normal now that she sees that Killian is still here. It's only then that she truly comprehends how he felt on the day she disappeared, except it must've been even worse because he couldn't see. She feels foolish for panicking in the first place, because where would he even go?

"Merry Christmas, mum", Henry says, too wrapped up in his presents to note the horrified look on her face.

"Merry Christmas, kid", she finally says, walking closer and sitting down on the floor next to him. Henry gets up and drifts away, and Emma looks at Killian, wishing she could put into words everything she wants to tell him.

"Look up", Henry says from behind her, and her eyes widen when she sees mistletoe hanging from a stick he's precariously holding above their heads. "Now kiss", he adds with a mischievous grin, and Emma glances at Killian, who looks completely lost.

"What's he on about?"

"He's holding mistletoe above our head and thinks we'll kiss because it's tradition, but he's forgetting that you-"

Killian gropes for her hand, finds it and pulls her toward him. Emma unintentionally turns her head in the last second, so his lips end up more on her cheek than her mouth, but her skin is still burning from the contact. He pulls away and looks disappointed, and Emma curses her own stupidity. She'd been dreaming of kissing him again for so long, and now that she could've, she chickened out because she thought he felt obligated. It's clear from the look on his face that it wasn't the case, but it's too late now and she doesn't know how to fix it. She doesn't know how to fix anything.

"That wasn't a proper kiss", Henry objects, and although she's ready to do it right this time, Killian puts even more distance between them and tells Henry that the mistletoe must've been faulty. Emma is prepared to do anything to remove that sad smile from his face, but Snow arrives earlier than expected and so she doesn't get to do anything at all.

* * *

Guests start arriving around 6 p.m. and since Emma is still wearing a sweater and leggings, Snow shoos her away to change into something more appropriate for the party. Snow is wearing a gorgeous red dress and exquisite gold earrings, and Emma opens her closet, hoping against hope that there's something at least remotely acceptable in there. She almost stumbles over her own feet when she sees the most perfect purple dress hanging inside, strapless, satiny and long. Slowly, she runs her hand through the rich fabric, almost expecting it to disappear.

"Do you like it?" Killian asks, closing the door behind him. He's wearing black jeans and a dress shirt and she could just stare at him for hours, that's how good he looks.

"It's perfect. When did you-"

"As soon as you decided you wanted to throw a party. I knew you'd forget, so Henry and I went shopping", he gives her a half smile and Emma walks closer, grasping his hand in hers so tight her knuckles turn white.

"I'm so sorry", she tells him, apologizing for the almost kiss, for disappearing, for everything she could've handled better and hadn't since he lost his memories. He pulls his hand away and Emma feels so wounded, but then she sees mistletoe appearing from his back pocket and she smiles so wide she's fairly certain he can hear it.

"Look, Emma, mistletoe", he says, holding it up above their heads, and this time Emma stands perfectly still, her eyes focused on his mouth as he lowers his head toward her, and meets him halfway, only closing her eyes when she's certain he won't miss. The kiss is almost earth-shattering, hungry and as passionate as it ever was, her body melting against his as he throws the mistletoe over his shoulder and pulls her even closer.

When they finally separate, their foreheads still touching, Emma wishes only to hold this moment close to her heart and never forget exactly how coming home felt.

Killian is running his fingers through her hair, and Emma waits patiently for him to speak, not even daring to look at him, afraid she'd only startle him and drive him away again. At that moment she doesn't even care that he's blind and she's still not as familiar to him as she used to be, because they're finally close again, and on the way to being even closer.

"I've kissed you before", he says, his voice so low and full of emotion, and Emma can't avoid his sightless gaze anymore. She cups his face in her hand, running her thumb over the scruff, smiling like she hadn't smiled in weeks.

"Do you remember?" She whispers, trying not to let herself hope for too much because she's already had enough disappointment to last her a lifetime.

"Yes", he breathes, and Emma's knees almost give out, because a part of her was always counting on true love's kiss, but she was too afraid to try because this wasn't a curse, and because he didn't love her; he didn't even know her.

"You do?"

"I remember you, I remember that I love you, and how it feels to make love to you, but it's more a feeling than something tangible", he says and smashes the hope that has sprung in mere seconds since he said yes.

Emma nods, afraid that if she speaks, she'll fall apart, and she can't do that to him, not when he's finally making actual progress, and all because they kissed. She wishes she kissed him sooner, but then wonders if that kiss would have this kind of effect, or if it would just feel awkward.

"Don't be sad that I can't see yet; I'm sure it's gonna happen eventually", he tells her, misinterpreting her silence, and Emma stands on her tiptoes and kisses him again, just wanting to be close and stop overanalyzing everything for a moment. A part of her can't believe that this is happening, that she doesn't have to restrain herself anymore, and it feels so good.

"Emma, slow down", he chuckles when she runs her tongue over his full bottom lip and starts pulling him toward the bed.

"Do you want to remember how it felt to make love to me, or do you want to do it?" She asks, and his eyes darken with passion she missed so much, and soon he's sitting on the edge of their bed with Emma in his lap, and she can't even remember how they got there. Just as she's starting to unbutton his shirt, the door opens, her insides doing a flip at the thought that it could be Henry.

"Snow said-" David says, taking in the scene in front of him, the awkward pause stretching, nobody knowing what to say.

"We'll be right there", Killian says, and Emma is about to object, but David doesn't give her a chance to say anything because he's out of there as fast as humanly possible.

"Why would you say that?" Emma pouts, and Killian kisses her nose before standing up with her and setting her on her feet.

"You invited the entire town to the party; I don't think it's appropriate to stay in here and have sex, leaving them to fend for themselves."

Emma takes off her clothes and reaches for her dress, then pauses and turns back toward him.

"I'm practically naked. You're sure they can't wait a bit longer?" She asks him, feeling playful now that there's no more distance between them.

"You minx", he cries, finding her in the dark so easily she's completely surprised and doesn't even have time to gasp before he picks her up and carries her to the bed again.

The door opens again, this time revealing Snow, who tries to look annoyed but can't hide a smile at the sight of two of them in bed. Killian growls at another interruption, and Emma gets a weird sense of déjà vu, even though she knows nothing like this had ever happened before.

"We're coming, I swear", Emma manages to say breathlessly, and Snow closes the door without a comment, but it's clear she's not gonna put up with their behavior much longer. "Of all the times we could've decided to do this, we choose the night when there's thirty people in the house."

"Can't we just tell them all to go home?" Killian asks her, running his hand from her hip, over her waist and up her ribs, sliding a finger under her bra, following the edge to the clasp. Emma remembers how many bras he had ripped apart before he learned how to take them off one-handed.

"If we don't come out in the next two minutes, they're gonna send Henry", Emma tells him, and that prompts them both to leave the bed, Killian managing to stay away long enough for her to pull the dress over her head and find some bracelets and a cocktail ring. She wonders what to do with her hair, then realizes she doesn't really care and just leaves it tumbling over her shoulders in gentle, albeit messy waves.

Before they finally exit the room and join the party, he pulls her close and kisses her one more time, and when he tells her that she looks beautiful, she knows he sees her better than anybody else ever did and smiles against his lips.

* * *

**Review?**


	13. Anything For You

**I guess you liked the last chapter, huh? Have a flashback chapter for now, and I'll try to post the present chapter tomorrow, but I can't promise anything because I'll have a busy day at uni. Enjoy!  
**

* * *

_Storybrooke, ten months ago_

Emma comes home with two bags of groceries precariously balanced in her arms and finds the house spotless. The living room furniture is almost gleaming, the couch on which Hook's been sleeping unmade of his pillow and blanket, throw cushions arranged in perfect intervals. She walks into the kitchen, and the situation is the same; everything is in perfect order, and it makes her feel a little uncomfortable. He keeps cleaning and she keeps telling him to stop, but he just ignores her and does it when she's not home. She drops the bags on the counter and turns toward the back door, hearing voices drifting in from the outside.

Henry laughs in the back yard, and she opens the door, stepping onto the back porch, finding him having a sword fight with Hook. It's perfectly clear that even though Henry sees it as a game, Hook is actually teaching him form without Henry even realizing it. Emma looks at them, and gets the strangest feeling deep in the pit of her stomach, seeing for the first time what could've been if Neal hadn't turned her in and stuck around until she had a baby. She doesn't want to think about Neal, so she focuses on Hook instead, on the way he moves; he's so light on his feet, and he looks different when he's not focused on revenge. The way he is with Henry makes her wonder if he ever had a son, if one of the Lost boys he had mentioned was closer to him than the rest, because she doesn't believe for a second that he was chasing them around like he does in the stories of this world.

"C'mon lad, I'm falling asleep here", Hook says, and Henry springs into action, attacking him with a battle cry that is completely adorable. It's been nearly two weeks and Hook seems to be healing fairly quickly, but this is a child he's mock fighting with a wooden sword, and Emma knows he wouldn't have a chance in a real fight; she doubts he's be able to even lift his sword yet.

"Killian?" Henry says, dodging Hook's jab, and Emma knows by the sound of his voice that he's getting ready to ask an uncomfortable question. Since neither of them noticed her yet, she waits to hear what Henry wants to know. She thinks it's gonna be a question about Hook's past, and she hopes he'll be honest with her son the way he probably wouldn't be with her.

"Out with it, boy", Hook says, his voice surprisingly gentle, and Henry drops his sword and looks up at him, cocking his head to the side before speaking.

"Can you stay with us even after you're able to fight?"

Emma isn't sure who's more surprised with the question, her or Hook. He glances at her, and she realizes too late that he'd know she was there all along.

"I don't think your mum would like that very much. After all, I'm a pirate", he adds offhandedly, and Emma knows it's aimed at her.

"But you're a good pirate. You would never hurt us", Henry objects, turning the ground over with his sword. Emma knew they've spent a lot of time together since she took Hook in, but she wasn't aware that Henry had grown this attached to him. Sure, they were all together in the evenings watching movies and playing board games that usually confused Hook, and the two of them seemed comfortable with each other, but it never even crossed her mind that Henry would want him to stay.

Hook chuckles to himself. "Please don't go around telling people I'm good. It's bad for my reputation." Emma watches him adjust his grip on the sword before continuing. "But you're right. I would never hurt either of you."

"Or Snow or David."

"Well… I'm not sure about David. He did punch me, and if he tried that again, I would have to defend myself."

"I talked to him, and he promised he wouldn't punch you again unless you did something bad", Henry says, and Emma wishes the world was as simple as children perceived it. Henry liked Hook, and he believed in him, and they obviously had fun together, therefore, he wanted him to stay.

Hook avoids her gaze and smiles at Henry. "We can still keep doing this even if I don't live here anymore", he tells him, and puts his sword up. Henry nods to himself and they go back to sparring, and Emma goes back inside. She puts the kettle on and sits at the counter, telling herself that she needs to kick out Hook as soon as possible, before Henry starts seeing a father in him, even though it's probably too late for that now.

* * *

Later that night she sits on the couch with Hook, a cushion between them where Henry was just minutes ago before she made him go get ready for bed. She told him it was because it's a school night, but the truth is that she wanted to talk to Hook without Henry hearing them.

The tension is almost palpable, and it's clear neither of them is really seeing the movie they pretend to be watching, so Emma picks up the remote and turns off the TV.

"Hey! I was watching that", Hook says a second too late, and she doesn't even bother calling him out on his lie.

"We need to talk."

"You want me out", he says flatly, and Emma turns toward him in alarm.

"No! Not yet", she says quickly, warmth creeping up her cheeks because it came out a bit desperate.

"I know what you think, Emma. You think I'm bad for him and bad for you, and you're right on both accounts", he tells her, and it's frustrating that he can read her so well, but then again, he's probably used to that kind of approach, people automatically not trusting him for being a pirate.

"I just can't let him get hurt", she says quietly, and his response is equally quiet.

"I would never let him get hurt." There's so much feeling behind his words, and Emma can't remember anything else she was gonna say; she had an entire list, and now she can't remember a single item that was on it.

He looks at her with those amazing eyes and thoughts just fly out of her head, so she tucks her feet under her and turns toward him, letting him take over the reigns of the conversation. "The truth is that I like it here. I risk sounding like a pansy saying that, but it's the truth. You two make me forget about Rumpelstiltskin, and there's never been anyone who managed to do that."

Emma is speechless for a moment, at first thinking that he's trying to threaten her, but then she thinks about what he'd said and realizes it's not that at all.

"You're tired of the pursuit", Emma says in amazement, and he shrugs.

"It was the only thing I thought about for so long, it was what I was breathing, what my entire life was about, and then you came along. That day on the beanstalk was like a reprieve I never even knew I needed."

Emma mulls it over for a while, then asks the most important question. "Do you think you could let it go?"

Hook crosses his arms in front of his chest, the material of his T-shirt stretching over his biceps', drawing Emma's eyes and making her warm. She ignores her hormones and focuses on his face, but that's even worse and suddenly there's electricity crackling in the air between them, the attraction so great that for a moment she wonders why does she even fight against it.

Hook finally speaks, his gaze locked on hers, as if trying to make her see he's telling the truth. "I think I could if I had something to distract me."

"So that's what Henry and I are? A distraction?" She can't let him guilt trip her into letting him stay, so she latches onto the only thing he had said that can make her hold her ground.

"That's not what I was trying to say and you know it", he tells her with an annoyed look and Emma sighs. There's no way she can win this fight.

"This isn't fair and _you_ know it. If I kick you out I'll be the one responsible for whatever befalls you when you go after Gold."

"I can take him."

"You're not serious. You saw what happened last time; think about what would've happened if you hadn't had me to beat him back", Emma says, leaning toward him as she starts to heat up with the discussion.

"Maybe I don't care about what happens to me. Maybe it's gotten to the point where I either kill him or he kills me", Hook says, and Emma shakes her head in time with his words.

"Don't say that." She doesn't like the sound of her own voice when she says it because it reveals too much of her feelings; the thought of him dying makes her stomach turn and her heart trip. "Even if I let you stay here, there can never be anything between us", she says, his eyes almost burning her with their intensity.

"We both know it's just a matter of time before you stop fighting it", he tells her, but Emma refuses to acknowledge the truth behind his words.

"Can you promise me that you won't go after him if I let you stay here?" Emma asks, knowing that her future depends on his answer. He replies instantly, without a millisecond of pause to think his answer through.

"Yes." He's looking at her like she's his only hope, which makes it impossible for her to deny him.

* * *

**Review?**

"Fine. You can stay. But start thinking about getting a job because I'm not gonna support you indefinitely", Emma says all on the same breath, and he smiles one of those infuriating smiles he gives her so often lately.

"I don't need a job, love. I have a sack full of gold stashed in the woods."

"Lucky you", Emma mutters, and he scoots really close to her before speaking.

"Luck had nothing to do with it", he says, his face so close to her that she finds it hard focusing on his words. He pauses like that, watching her, and her eyes focus on his lips before she can stop herself. "Like I said, love, it's just a matter of time", he tells her and gives her a peck on the cheek before he starts in the direction of the bathroom.

"I was gonna shower first", Emma calls after him, but he's already in it, his laughter resonating inside and reaching her ears like a faint whisper that brings a smile to her lips against her will. She can feel the imprint of his lips on her cheek, burning her skin like a promise of things that are yet to come. For the first time in her life, she's tempted not to fight the feelings that are gently making themselves known, and stop telling herself that she doesn't need anyone to love her like that. She's got Henry and her parents, but she can't help wanting more, and she hears his voice in her head complete with the British accent: it's just a matter of time.


	14. Then Came the Night

**The chapter you've all been waiting for is here. I hope it's worth all the feels you've had because of this fic.  
**

* * *

Despite the fact that she'd rather be alone with Killian, Emma realizes she's actually enjoying herself, chatting with people and drinking eggnog, compliments coming for all sides for both the party and her dress.

Henry is running around on a sugar high, his cheeks red, the smile on his face so big and bright Emma actually gets a little teary eyed. Tears of joy aren't her style, but then again, she had never gotten such a Christmas miracle before, and everything seems a bit overwhelming. He eyes are drawn to Killian, who's talking to Archie and Grumpy, looking completely okay for the first time since the spell, and quickly wipes the moisture from around her eyes, trying not to ruin her make-up in the process. She notices that one side of his collar is up, and smiles to herself, all her senses tingling when she remembers how he kissed her, how his hand trailed her skin and left a fiery trail in its wake.

"What's going on with you two?" Snow sidles up to her, following her gaze to Killian.

"He kissed me, and he remembered me", Emma says, still not quite able to believe that the worst is over.

"That's great", Snow exclaims, hugging her close, and Emma returns the hug, closing her eyes and smiling when Snow tells her she had never doubted everything would work out.

"I wish I could say the same", Emma says wistfully, her eyes finding Killian again on instinct as easy as breathing. Henry tells him something that makes him laugh, and Emma realizes she hadn't stopped smiling since they came out of their room; her lips just don't know how to stop. It scares her a bit, this feeling that her happiness is so closely connected to his, but she doesn't fight it, the instinct long gone.

"Henry's got enough faith for both of you", Snow tells her and leans against David, who embraces her from behind and hands her a glass of mulled wine. Emma makes her way through the crowd and lays her hand on Killian's shoulder, and he wraps his fingers around her wrist and tugs her down into his lap.

"I missed you", he tells her, his warm breath tickling her ear.

"I missed you", Emma says, wrapping her arm around his shoulders, leaning against his chest. She feels playful and young and _new_; the magic of having him back almost palpable in the air around them. Or maybe it's just love.

The party finally ends around two a.m. with the last of the guests leaving, a little unsteady on their feet, a couple of them (including most of the dwarves) singing "Let it Snow" on top of their lungs as their walk home. Henry wakes up on the sofa, confused and drowsy, sad that he hadn't had a chance to say goodbye to everybody.

"Ruby kissed you goodbye before she left", Snow teases, and he touches his cheek, blushing fiercely red. It's the first time Emma hears about his little crush, and she feels guilty for focusing all her attention on Killian the past month.

"I can't believe I slept through that", Henry says, plopping back down.

"Oh no you don't", Killian says, outstretching his hand. "I'm not carrying you back to your bed yet again; you're getting heavy", he says, and Henry accepts his outstretched hand, letting Killian lead him toward his room.

"'Night, Mary Margaret. 'Night, grandpa", he says over his shoulder, already wobbly on his feet. Emma smiles to herself when Killian picks him up and carries him off. She gets the strongest urge to freeze time, to keep him her little boy forever, but knows that it's a matter of days before puberty hits him and a time comes when he won't let anyone carry him to bed, not to mention let her kiss him goodnight.

"Why aren't you grandma if I'm grandpa," David grumbles to Snow, looking so much like a little boy himself that both Emma and Snow giggle, holding onto each other for support.

"You sure you don't want us to take him tonight?" Snow asks Emma when she finally gets herself under control, and Emma shakes her head.

"It's too late, you don't have a car, and besides, I'm too tired for… you know."

"I doubt that", David says, bringing Snow's coat from the hallway and helping her shrug it on.

"C'mon", Emma says, still feeling awkward when her parents talk about sex, have sex, or worse, discuss her having it.

"Have fun", Snow tells her and kisses her cheek, and then they're gone. Emma decides to leave the dishes for tomorrow and goes down the hallway toward Henry's room. Killian comes out before she reaches it and puts his finger to his lips.

"He went out again like a light", he tells her and Emma steps into the circle of his arms, laying her head against his shoulder. "Tired?"

"No", Emma says, and she's suddenly wide awake, feeling so light when he lifts her and carries her to their room. "What's with you carrying people to bed tonight?"

"Didn't you know? I'm always a gentleman", he says, his voice so low with promise it sends a shiver down her spine.

Emma kicks off her heels as soon as he sets her on her feet and turns toward him, pulling his shirt open so violently that the buttons fly in all directions. He cups her face in his hand and kisses her, and Emma's head spins. It's probably a combination of both eggnog and the kiss, but her knees are so week she just drops down on the bed and pulls him with her. It feels impossibly good to have his weight on top of her, his lips trailing down her neck, while his hand goes behind her and pulls the zipper of her dress down. He peels the dress down and Emma watches him, tangling her fingers in his hair and smiling at the look of deep concentration on his face.

Killian presses a kiss against her hipbone and Emma sighs, biting her lip when he trails his lips over the same path his hand went a couple of hours ago. Emma's fingers dig into his back, and she turns her head to muffle her moan against the pillow when his hand goes under the folds of her dress and touches her _there_. She's too impatient to take this slow and sits up, wiggles out of the dress and her panties and unbuttons his jeans, looking up at him in surprise when he stills her busy fingers.

"We've got time", he tells her softly, and Emma nods to herself, making a conscious effort to slow her breathing, but blood still rushes in her veins, pounding between her ears when he lays her back down and kisses her, her legs spreading when his hand sneaks down again, every nerve ending in her body on fire. Her teeth bite on his earlobe gently and a shiver goes through him, making her smile. He never could resist her when she went for his ears, and she finds it so damn cute.

"What are you grinning about?" He asks her, pulling his head away, meeting her eyes for a moment before covering her lips with his. Emma closes her eyes, as his tongue explores her mouth and her fingers trail down the hard muscles of his back, around his waist and under the elastic of his boxers.

"This won't last very long if you keep doing that", he gasps against her mouth when she wraps her fingers around him, and she shakes her head, breathless herself.

"I want you now", she mumbles, and he drops his head, his lips covering her nipple, his finger going inside her, making her gasp, all thoughts flying out of her head until there's nothing except the feel of his body around her and inside her.

Maybe it's because he's blind that he pays more attention to her entire body, not just the obvious parts, like he's memorizing her again by touch, but she can honestly say that this is the best sex they've ever had.

* * *

They lay awake afterward, his arms so tight around her she's practically on top of him. Her fingers travel over his skin, tangling in his chest hair briefly and then continuing down, circling his belly button and going back up, and even though she's so pleasantly tired, she doesn't want to sleep, doesn't want to close her eyes and let this feeling go.

"Do you think Henry's still sleeping?" He whispers, and Emma smiles, pressing a kiss against his shoulder. His skin tastes salty and smells so good she wishes she could bottle it and wear it as perfume, so that she can feel close to him even when he's not right next to her.

"I'm sure he is. We weren't _that_ loud", she whispers back, looking up at him and marveling at the ease with which he finds her lips, as if he's so aware of her that he knows where every part of her is at any given time.

"_I_ wasn't. You, on the other hand, well…", he trails off with a wicked grin, and Emma can't even muster the strength to object. She's glad that Henry is such a heavy sleeper; it would take a lot more than the two of them making love to wake him up.

"It's been a long time", Emma says wistfully, nestling even closer, and he traps her leg between his, his hand tracing lazy circles on her back. He doesn't say anything to that, but it's enough that he's here, holding her close, making her believe he'll never let her go again. _It had felt like this before_, a voice whispers in her head but she doesn't listen. Instead, she rolls on top of him, moving her hips until his eyes grow darker and he practically growls her name.

This time it's slow and so very hot, and Emma bites his shoulder to keep herself from screaming, a part of her hating him because he can send her tumbling over the edge so easily, the other part loving him more than she ever thought herself capable of before she had met him.

They don't sleep that night, and it's like an inverted version of their first time because this time he's the tentative one and she's completely unrestrained, her entire body singing at his every touch.

* * *

**Review?**


	15. Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore

**I wanna take this opportunity to thank all of you who keep reading this and leave me such positive reviews. A couple of you asked if Killian remembers everything now, and the answer is: not quite yet. He remembers Emma, and the rest will follow soon, along with his sight. Have another flashback chapter!  
**

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_Storybrooke, ten months ago_

Emma follows Hook into the woods, ducking under branches he holds away with his hook and stepping over fallen logs, and by the time they reach the clearing where he had hid his gold she's completely turned around.

"How did you know to find this place again?" she asks, a little impressed.

"Well, not to brag, but I've got a perfect sense of direction. Being a pirate is more about sailing than attacking people", he tells her, walking over to a hollow tree stump and kneeling down next to it.

Emma comes closer, and he curses under his breath. There's nothing inside.

"Your sense of direction isn't that perfect after all, huh", Emma says, but he shakes his head, looking around as if searching for somebody who could've taken his gold.

"This is the place", he says firmly, and just then Gold steps out from the trees, calmly walking to the middle of the clearing and leaning on his walking stick.

"Miss Swan, Captain", he greets them pleasantly, and Hook jumps to his feet, about ready to lunge at him. Emma steps in front of him and puts both of her hands on his chest.

"You promised", she tells him low enough so Gold won't hear, and the look in his eyes is so haunted Emma tightens her hold on him.

"Where is my gold?" He asks Gold, his voice deceivingly calm, but Emma can feel that he's seconds away from blowing up.

"It's safe. I took it as compensation for your kidnapping of my Belle", Gold says, and Emma doesn't quite know what to do to defuse this situation.

"And that bag was enough? You really don't value her very highly", Hook says, stepping around Emma but not coming any closer. She keeps her hand on his shoulder but knows she wouldn't be able to stop him if he decided to charge Gold.

"It was all you had, so I took it. How about a deal? You promise to stay away from us, I give it back", Gold offers, and Hook laughs, and it's a dark, lonely sound.

"I thought we already agreed on that", Emma says, trying not to let her voice rise in exasperation.

"I only offered, he never agreed", Gold says, pointing his stick at Hook.

"Do you honestly think I would trust you enough to make a proper deal with you after what you did last time?" Hook says, stepping closer to Gold. Emma tries to keep herself between them, hoping they wouldn't just attack each other with her in the middle.

"Careful, Captain. I could cause you more harm than you can cause me, and if you're not careful, I could take away more than you're prepared to lose", Gold says, glancing briefly at Emma, and she can feel Hook's every muscle tightening as he gets ready to spring. He doesn't have any weapons except his hook, and she marvels at the fact that he's this fearless. Then another thought occurs to her, and it's not a pleasant one; he really doesn't care if he gets killed. Her insides clench painfully at the thought of Gold killing him, and she cups his face with her hand and forces him to look at her, to take his eyes from Gold for just a little while and think.

"You can't take him, Hook, and you can't outwit him either, trust me", Emma tells him, looking into his eyes and willing him to see reason, to understand that the peace offering coming from Gold isn't something that should be taken lightly or declined. "You said you would stay away from him if I let you stay with me and Henry", she reminds him gently, and he takes a deep breath, his jaw clenching.

"How can you ask me to make such a deal with him? Only a pathetic coward would do so and- Do you think me a coward?" He asks her and she shakes her head quickly, wishing she could tell him how brave she thinks he is, without sounding too desperate.

"You're not a coward if you decide to be wise and acknowledge that this is a battle you can't win", Emma says, and she can finally see that she's starting to get through to him. He closes his eyes, the sun casting long shadows of his eyelashes on his cheeks, but even in David's clothes he looks so proud and hard she's afraid she'll never be able to make him see reason. "Please, don't", she whispers, and stands on her tiptoes, kissing him, hoping against hope that she would be the reason for him to forsake his pursuit for revenge.

What starts as a way for her to try and shake him from all that hatred and thirst for revenge, turns into something else altogether. He returns her kiss with a passion she hadn't expected, his hand pulling her closer and burning her waist, his tongue tangling with hers in a heady dance that makes her forget where she is and what was her original intention.

When he finally pulls away she almost stumbles, her eyes opening slowly, but the cocky grin he gives her makes her come to her senses quickly enough. She's embarrassed but it's worth it because he waves a hand at Gold and says he accepts his offer.

"Return my Gold and I swear I'll leave Belle alone."

"You'll leave both of us alone", Gold says, and Hook sighs, grudgingly accepting Gold's terms.

Gold nods and starts to walk away, then pauses and turns back to them. "Just in case you were wondering, if I even think you're not holding up your end of the bargain, I'll take your other hand", he says, and it's even more menacing because it's spoken so softly. "And neither Regina nor Cora will be able to stop me", he throws over his shoulder and then he's gone.

"What's he on about?" Hook asks, and Emma shakes her head, catching sight of the tree stump. The bag with Hook's gold is poking out of it, waiting to be taken and spent.

* * *

"I still don't understand why can't I just use my hook", Hook tells her when doctor Whale brings out a couple of prosthetic hands and lays them on the table in front of him and Emma.

"I don't want it anywhere near Henry", Emma says for about the tenth time. "It's dangerous and… unsanitary", she finishes lamely, and Hook just raises an eyebrow at her.

"The selection is what it is, since no one can actually leave the town and get more", doctor Whale says, and for the next hour he helps Hook try the hands out. It's clear that Hook's doing it just for Emma, and he looks relieved when none of them quite fit.

"I'm sorry", doctor Whale says and they leave his office. Emma tries to figure out what to do now, but she quickly realizes she's out of options. She's gonna have to let him have it.

"I really thought a prosthetic hand would make life easier for you", she says, and Hook shrugs.

"I'll manage. You're right about my hook being dangerous around Henry, and the last thing I want is put him into jeopardy." Emma looks over at him as he opens the door for her as they exit the hospital, barely believing her ears. He's ready to give it up so easily?

"You can use it when he's at school", Emma says because she's seen how he struggles without it, and it seems cruel to force him to go without.

"You realize that if I put it away, you won't have an excuse to call me Hook anymore", he tells her as Emma leads the way toward the center of the town. She's finally taking him shopping for clothes. David's getting a bit huffy because she keeps coming around and asking to borrow more of his clothes, and besides, Hook's got gold now.

"What?"

"Why don't you call me Killian, and the hook goes away", he offers, and Emma pretends to think about it, but she knows it's just his way of easing her guilty conscience.

"Okay", she says, but still doesn't use his name.

"Okay…" he prompts her, pausing on the sidewalk, looking down at her with an expectant look on his face. It makes her think of the kiss, and she can't afford to do that when he's so close to her. She must avoid the temptation to try that again.

"Okay, Killian." His name rolls off her tongue surprisingly easy.

"That wasn't so hard, now was it love?" He asks her and starts walking again, and Emma lengthens her steps to keep up with him. The memory of the kiss is like a live thing between them, but neither brings it up.

Buying civilian clothes for Hook- for Killian, is a surreal experience. He insists on everything being black, but Emma manages to throw in some blue and green shirts and button downs that bring out his eyes in the most amazing way. He smirks at her but doesn't comment on it, even though they both know she wouldn't do it if she didn't find him attractive already.

By the time they get home it's already dark, and Snow and David are playing Monopoly with Henry in the living room.

"We were about to send out a search party for you", David says, glaring daggers at Killian.

"I don't know why you're looking at me. She took me shopping", Killian says, pointing at Emma with his hook. He glances down at it and quickly takes it off.

"We're fine", Emma says, running her fingers through Henry's hair and leaning down to kiss his cheek.

"I wasn't worried about him", David says, and Killian rolls his eyes, covering his heart with his hand.

"You wound me", he tells him, and Snow chuckles.

"We brought dinner", Emma says and effectively calms her father down with the promise of food, and Killian drops his hook onto the shelf above the mantel and follows her into the kitchen.

It's a bit crowded at their small kitchen table, but it feels weirdly nice to have her family here with her, to have Killian with them too, laughing at Henry's attempts to cut his chicken and keep it on his plate at the same time.

"Just take it in your hand and eat", Killian tells him, and Henry glances at Emma for approval.

"You don't want to eat like a savage", David cuts in, and Henry looks from one to the other to Emma and Snow, who are both hiding their smiles behind their hands. David and Hook seem to bring out the worst in each other, but it's always so funny Emma doesn't really want them to stop.

"We're not at court right now", Killian says and winks at Henry, who abandons his fork and knife and bites into his chicken with gusto. David frowns and Snow rubs his back, leaning close to him and whispering something in his ear that makes him look embarrassed. Killian pretends not to notice, and Emma realizes how often she manages to forget that he's only got one hand, and how challenging little things must be. She wonders if that means she's growing closer to him, because at first she was always, always painfully aware of his hook. Now, he takes it off, and she doesn't even blink at the sight of his stump.

Their eyes meet across the table and then the only thing she's thinking about is how she kissed him, how good it had felt and how much she wants to do it again. He smiles to himself and lifts his eyebrow at her, and Emma's fairly certain he had just read her mind.

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**Review?**


	16. Don't

The Outsider **just about killed me when I watched it last night, so this chapter came out a bit gloomier than I had originally intended, but I think you're used to that. Trust me when I say that it will be worth it, and there is gonna be a happy ending. Enjoy!**

* * *

The day after Christmas dawns crisp and cold, snow gently falling from pale gray sky, covering everything, muffling all sounds. Emma is curled up at Killian's side, watching as the light slowly fills the room, drawing lazy circles on his stomach and listening to his heartbeat in her ear.

They were talking and making love all night, and he fell asleep between one word and the next. Emma sits up slowly and looks down at him, love filling her heart up so suddenly she's almost breathless with emotion. She can't get enough of him, of the way he looks when he's asleep and when he's awake, the way he smells and the way he holds her, the way he feels under her fingertips, the softness of his hair and the blue in his eyes, and it seems that the more she looks at him the more she needs to. Emma smiles to herself because she's being so silly, acting like a teenager who's in love for the first time, and inevitably her thoughts stray toward Neal. She wishes he had stayed for Henry's sake, but knows that she never would've loved him as much as she loves Killian.

The doorbell rings shrilly and pulls her out of her reverie, but Killian barely shifts. Emma gets up and puts on his shirt and the leggings she wore the day before and goes to see who's at the door.

"Good morning, miss Swan", Gold says, standing on her porch with a wide smile on his face, and for reasons unknown Emma's stomach drops.

"What is it?" She asks in a whisper because she doesn't want to wake her boys up, and she especially doesn't want Killian to know that Gold is here.

"Won't you invite me in?"

Emma sighs and lets him in, leading him into the kitchen because it's the longest way away from the bedrooms. She looks at Gold with a heavy heart, knowing that it's got to be something important if he's here so early.

"I see the party was a hit", Gold says, looking at all the dishes left from last night. Emma wants to shake him and force him to get on with it, but she knows it wouldn't do much good. He always does everything in his own time, and trying to hurry him wouldn't help.

"It was good", she says noncommittally, and he nods, pulling out a bottle from his pocket and placing it on the counter.

"I figured it out", he finally gets to the point, and Emma stares at the bottle between them, almost not daring to believe that it's there.

"Is that-"

"The counter-spell", Gold confirms, pushing it toward her. Emma's hands ball into fists and she stays where she is.

"And the catch?" She asks, tearing her eyes from the bottle to look at him and he tilts his head to the side.

"As you know, there are no guarantees with magic", he says, and Emma trembles in an effort not to punch him.

"He drinks that, and…" Emma prompts him, already sure that Killian will never hear about this bottle.

"Three possible outcomes", Gold says, counting on his fingers. "First, nothing happens. Second, he goes back to the way he was before the spell, both his sight and his memories returning. Third, his memory gets wiped again."

Emma just looks at him, knowing that the odds are in Killian's favor, but still unable to disregard that one third of a chance that he could forget everything again, that all the progress he's made would be undone.

"I'll leave it to you to tell him", Gold says, starting for the back door. "Or keep it to yourself", he adds before closing the door behind him. When Emma looks out at the back yard, the snow is undisturbed, the only proof that he was ever here the bottle on the counter.

"Were you talking to somebody just now?" Killian asks from the doorway and Emma almost jumps out of her skin. She takes a breath and crosses the kitchen, putting her arms around his waist and holding him close, her brain battling with her heart. The last thing she wants is lie to him, but she knows he'd take the risk in a heartbeat and she's not sure she can let him.

"I was talking to myself, wondering where to start with the cleaning up", she says, looking at the bottle on the counter as if it's a snake ready to spring and bite her for telling him such a blatant lie. If he could see, he would instantly know what she's trying to do, but then again, if he could see he wouldn't need the counter-spell, and Emma wouldn't feel so horrible.

"It's barely 7 o'clock. Come back to bed", Killian tells her, brushing the hair away from her face, smiling down at her, his eyes still hooded with sleep. "It'll be more fun than doing the dishes", he adds, giving her his best smoldering look. Emma laughs but it sounds hollow even to her own ears.

"What's wrong?" He asks, his voice softening, his knuckles gliding over her cheek as if he's trying to find the answer in the lines of her face.

"Are you happy? Right now, do you feel like you don't need anything else now that you've got me in your arms? Because that's how I feel, and I feel guilty because you still can't see and you still can't remember everything", she says, and even when she turns her back on the bottle, she's painfully of its exact position in relation to them.

He doesn't answer her, just leans down and finds first her nose, then her lips, and Emma's eyes drift closed as he ignites her again, and the need for him starts building low in her belly.

"I am happy, love. I remember you, and seeing your face in my mind is I miracle I had almost stopped hoping for", he tells her, resting his forehead against hers, and Emma manages to block the guilty feeling for the time being, jumping up and wrapping her legs around his waist. He carries to their bedroom and the fire burns so hot it almost consumes them both.

Emma tells herself she's just keeping him safe from himself, giving him more time to remember on his own, and surrenders to his touch, letting him chase all the doubts out of her head and leave her feeling calm, sated and above all, so very loved.

* * *

She wakes up alone and the guilt comes back so strong, making her physically sick. The snow has stopped falling and she goes to the window, gazes out at the perfect world and takes a few deep breaths to calm her stomach.

The bottle is still standing on the kitchen counter when she walks in, silently accusing her. Most of the dishes have been cleared away, and Emma can't believe it's almost noon. The living room is empty and she finds Killian's note on the message board by the door, his handwriting a bit more messy than usual but still more easily readable than hers, telling her that he and Henry went for a walk.

Emma returns to the kitchen and does the rest of the dishes, trying to justify her decision to keep him in the dark about Gold's counter-spell.

By the time he and Henry come back from their walk she's already climbing the walls, unable to shut up her guilty conscience. No matter how much she loves him and doesn't want to see him suffer any further, she can't take this decision away from him and look at him struggle with blindness every day, because even though he's gotten so good with everyday tasks, there are still moments when he stumbles over random pieces of furniture or spills his coffee or smiles not quite in her direction, and each of those moments is like a punch in her gut.

"What's for lunch?" Henry asks from the door, so covered in snow he looks like a mini snowman. He starts toward the living room and she wraps her arm around him from behind.

"Stop right there", Emma orders, shaking out his hat and helping him take off his jacket. "And the boots", she adds when he tries to sneak by her without taking them off. "Did you let him lie in the snow?" She asks Killian, and he smiles at her, putting up his hand.

"I didn't see anything, so technically I didn't", he says, and Henry laughs, wrestling with his boots.

"I fell, I didn't lie in the snow", Henry says, finally free of the boots. He leaves them in the middle of the hallway and starts toward the kitchen, but then remembers Killian and comes back, putting them neatly in the corner.

Emma shakes the snow out of Killian's hair and kisses him, and even though his lips are cold on hers, it still makes her warm inside.

"Gold came by", she says, the weight of the lie lifting, and the nausea she'd been wrestling with since she woke up easing a bit. "He made you a counter-spell."

Killian is silent for a moment, and then his eyes narrow and Emma's heart starts beating faster because she's suddenly afraid that he somehow knows she tried to keep it from him.

"And the catch?"

Emma breathes a sigh of relief and tells him the possible outcomes, taking his jacket from him and hanging it next to the door. She leans against the wall and watches him take off his boots, slipping in his socks on the wet floor. He reaches for her hand before he speaks, and Emma's heart speeds up again, knowing what his decision is gonna be, but still afraid to hear it.

"Let's just eat", he says, surprising her completely, but she's glad she can stop thinking about it, if only for a while.

* * *

"What do you think I should do?" Killian asks her a couple of hours later, Christmas lights from the tree casting colorful shadows on his face. He's lying on the couch with his head in Emma's lap, his gaze unfocused, his voice distant as if he's a million miles away.

"I think you should weigh you options carefully, and decide if the risk is worth it. I mean, you made so much progress already, and that counter-spell could put you back to square one", Emma says, choosing her words with the utmost care, trying to stay objective even though all she wants to do is pour the contents of that bottle he's turning in his hand in the toilet.

"But it could also work", he says, turning his head toward her, his gaze almost meeting hers.

"Considering Gold's track record, chances for that are pretty slim", Emma says before she can stop herself, censor her words a bit, but he always valued her honesty, and that's not something that has changed since the spell. That's why her lapse this morning would hurt him even more if he knew.

"What would Captain Hook do?" He asks her with a wistful smile, and Emma returns it, closing her eyes and seeing him the way he was up on that beanstalk, so proud and cocky, and yet so gentle with her hand. She kept that scarf he wrapped her cut with, not even knowing why, but unable to get rid of it or return it to him.

"He would drink it", she says softly, a tear sliding down her face because she can't stand the thought of losing him again. She wipes it away before it can fall and land on his face and waits, prepared to swallow her objections because the decision is ultimately his. If he decides to try it, she's not gonna try and stop him.

"But I'm not him", he says, sits up and puts the bottle on the coffee table, then wraps his arm around Emma's waist and lifts her on his lap.

She starts crying. The relief is so great she doesn't even fight the tears, she just wraps her arms around his neck and sobs, unable to say anything for a long while. He rubs her back and tells her he can wait a little longer to see her again, and then if it doesn't happen they can still try the counter-spell.

Emma sniffles and laughs through her tears. "I don't know why I'm so emotional all of a sudden. I usually never cry, and this is like the fifth time this month", she tells him, and he smiles, brushing her tears away.

"Maybe you're pregnant", he says, only half-serious, and Emma realizes with a start that she can't exactly remember the last time she's had her period. It's no wonder with all that's been going on, and hope springs up in a place inside her where just moments ago there wasn't anything but desperation.

"Maybe", she murmurs, imagining chubby babies with blue eyes and wide toothless grins, cradled in his arms.

* * *

**Review?**


	17. We Belong

**I'm posting this chapter from beyond the grave, because that preview clip from the next episode killed me. I hope you enjoy, and I'm gonna go breathe into a paper bag.**

* * *

_Storybrooke, nine months ago_

At first she's worried all the time; worried that Killian is gonna be a bad influence on Henry even though it's obvious he's not, worried that he's gonna go after Gold, worried that she'd gonna fall for him and there won't be coming back. But, as she goes to work and comes home to a clean house and warm dinner, to Henry reading in the living room, all homework already done, to Killian giving her that smile that makes her smile back, she begins to relax, begins to accept that this can last, that he will stay and that she doesn't have to fight it anymore.

He doesn't make a move on her. They talk, and sometimes they fight, and he brushes hair away from her face and runs his hand down her arm, but he doesn't even try to kiss her. Sometimes she watches him when he's reading, sitting in the armchair by the fire, a smile lingering on his lips because he knows he's being watched. He doesn't look up because he knows she'd be embarrassed, and she knows that it would be so easy to just cross the room, take the book and sit in his lap, but she stays where she is and tries to find new reasons why she shouldn't.

And then one day she gets home and nobody's there. She stands in the empty kitchen, looking around and feeling so alone. Henry's spending the night at his grandparents', and she can't believe how panicked she is because Killian isn't there either, and there's nothing on the stove. She goes to the living room and starts breathing again only when she sees that his things are still in the corner. There's a note under the snow globe he gave her last week and Emma takes it with shaky fingers, thinking: _this is it_.

_Meet me at the harbor_, he note says, his handwriting neat and more worthy of a Disney prince than it should be, considering the fact that he's a pirate. She reminds herself to stop being so prejudicial and goes to her room to put on a white blouse and a fresh pair of jeans, then locks up and walks down to the waterfront. The anticipation is building in her with each step because this is the night the fight ends, and she can't wait to see him and let him know.

* * *

Killian waits for her on the dock, pacing until he sees her, then smiles and waits for her to reach him.

"I wasn't sure you'd come", he says, and Emma tilts her head and looks up at him from under her eyelashes.

"Liar", she says, and he laughs.

"You know me so well", he tells her, offering her his arm, and Emma takes it, letting him lead her down the dock.

"Why are we here?" She asks him, looking around, wondering what's he up to. She hadn't been here since the day she and David pulled him out of the sea, but he obviously knows where he's going.

"Well, as much as I love staying home and being a good housewife", he says, and Emma chuckles, "I thought it was time I found something to do."

They come to the end of the dock, and Emma looks around, confused. Killian points at one of the boats, and nods when she looks up at him with a questioning expression.

"I bought it", he says and offers her a hand to help her in the bright red sailing boat.

"And now you can take people sailing or teach them how to sail", Emma says, ducking under the sail and sitting down on the bench. She notices a mobile cooler in the corner but doesn't say anything. She wants him to woo her, and she knows it won't take long.

"I knew you were a clever lass the second I saw you", he says, sitting down next to her, stretching out his long legs and looking at her with such intensity she feels warm all over.

"You just thought I was pretty", she tells him, but he shakes his head, his eyes holding hers when he speaks.

"I thought you were magnificent."

"I thought you were trouble", she says with a smile, because it's the truth, and because she's never gonna regret meeting him.

"Well…" he says and pulls her closer, and Emma comes gladly, nestling into his shoulder. They're silent for a while, watching the stars that are just coming out.

"I know someone broke your heart, Emma, and that you feel like you can't trust me, even more so because I'm a pirate, and it's something I can't really fight until you tell me who he was and what he did to you", Killian says, not looking at her, and Emma feels fine, knowing that he's not really pressuring her, and if she chooses to ignore what he said, he's not gonna bring it up again. It's the reason she decides to share her greatest heartbreak with him.

"His name is Neal, and he's Henry's father", she says slowly, a bit surprised when the pain doesn't come. She tells him how they had met, and how she loved him and thought he loved her too. She recounts some of their little thefts and how they were planning to stop, to sell those watches and start again in Tallahassee. Then she tells him how instead of Neal, there was a policeman meeting her and sending her to jail, where she found out she was pregnant on the same day someone sent her the keys to the Beetle. Killian doesn't say anything, but his arm around her tightens, and Emma nestles closer, putting her legs over his.

"I don't know what happened and why he left, but I couldn't get a hold of him and tell him about Henry. He thinks his father died a hero, and since I don't expect he's ever gonna go looking for me, that's all Henry's gonna know. It's enough that he knows I left him, he doesn't have to know about Neal too."

"I'm sorry", Killian tells her, and she's surprised when he doesn't say anything else, doesn't offer empty promises or swear to her he's never gonna leave her.

"If he hadn't left me, I wouldn't have come to Storybrooke and broke the curse, and my parents would spend forever apart, so I can't be sorry that he left and that they're happy now, that everybody is happy now." Emma speaks slowly, realizing that after all this time, she can finally let him go. She had tried to rationalize him leaving her so many times, with so many scenarios playing out in her head, but now she knows it doesn't even matter. Whatever it was that made him do that, was also what brought her here, and Storybrooke is the only place she wants to be.

"You don't sound angry", he says, and it's clear from the sound of his voice that he doesn't quite get it.

"I'm not. It was a long time ago, and it hurt, but I moved on."

"I think now's a good time to tell you that if that Neal guy ever shows up, I'm gonna punch him so hard he's not gonna wake up for a while", Killian says, smiling down at her, but she's fairly certain that he's actually deadly serious.

"Only if you let me punch him first", Emma says, and he laughs, a sound so carefree and joyous she thinks that maybe he is happy too, that maybe he'll be able to let the revenge for his hand and for his heartbreak go.

"What did Gold do to Milah?" She asks him, hating the way his smile disappears, but she needs to know.

"He took her heart. He tied me to the mast and I stood there watching him do it, and then I held her in my arms and watched her die", he says, his voice breaking a little, and she can see all the guilt in his eyes and for the first time really understands why he spent so much time trying to kill Gold.

He thinks he could've done something, could've fought harder or be quicker; he thinks that it was his fault that Milah died, and if he kills Gold, then maybe that guilt wouldn't be so overwhelming. She wants to tell him that it wasn't his fault, but then she remembers Graham, remembers how she kissed him and how he just collapsed, and how for the longest time she thought it was somehow her fault.

"It was Regina", she says, more to herself than to him. "She had his heart all along, and then when he decided to leave her she killed him."

"What?" Killian is confused, and Emma doesn't want to go into it right now. There's been too much talk about broken hearts and lovers lost, and they need to focus on their future, on brighter things and happier times that are coming.

"I told you I was in love once, but the truth is, it was three times. I hope third time's the charm", Emma says, straddling his lap and looking down at him, a slow smile spreading over his face as he realizes what she means.

"It's about bloody time", he says, and his hand goes under her hair, pulling her down for a kiss. Emma smiles against his lips before she runs her tongue over his full bottom lip, coaxing his mouth open, his scent enveloping her until he's everything she smells, tastes, breathes.

* * *

It's almost midnight when they decide to go home, their dinner still untouched in the cooler Killian carries off the boat. He's got his other arm around Emma and she can't believe how nervous she is, how excited and impatient for the moment they reach the house, go inside and take off their clothes.

"Slow down, love, this thing is heavier than it looks", Killian says when she picks up the pace because they're just a block away and she can't wait any longer. She stops and kisses him, right there in the middle of the street, arching her back as he drops the cooler and pulls her close, holding her so tight she can't even breathe. She giggles and bites his lip playfully, and he taps the cooler with his boot. "How about we leave this here and come back for it in the morning?"

"Oh I don't know… We might still be busy in the morning", Emma says, and he picks it up again with a sigh.

"The things you do for love", he mutters under his breath, and Emma skips ahead of him, opening the garden door and waiting for him to go through. She looks toward the house over her shoulder and freezes, because there's someone sitting on the porch steps, standing up just as Killian passes by her and enters the garden.

"Emma", the figure says and steps into the light, and she can't believe this is happening, not now, not ever.

The man coming toward her and Killian is Neal.

* * *

**Review?**


	18. Blessed

**I feel that I should warn you that there are only 4 more chapters left after this one, plus the epilogue. My finals are starting on the 29th, so I plan on posting everything before that. I'm almost glad that the show's gonna be on hiatus for two weeks, because right now, I can't focus on anything but Captain Swan, and I need to study. Enjoy this chapter, it's happy, happy, happy. **

* * *

Emma checks the calendar three times, takes two pregnancy tests, and then finally goes to see her gynecologist. She's just about to leave her office and go home when the call comes, and just like that, it's official: she's ten weeks pregnant. Emma counts back the days to a time when she still had Killian by her side, but then she feels guilty because she still has him, minus a couple of memories and his sight. He's still the same, but she can't even try and guess what his reaction to her news will be.

The two of them are alone at dinner because Henry is spending the night at Regina's, and Emma keeps babbling about random things because she's not sure how to deliver the news.

"Emma?" Killian stops her midsentence, and she puts down her fork, watching him expectantly. "Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" She asks quickly, standing up and picking up her plate. It's hard keeping anything from him, but she just can't find the words to tell him. He corners her against the sink and turns her around with an arm around her waist, tangling his fingers in her hair and gently pulling so she has to tilt her head back and look at him.

"You never babble unless you're trying to keep something from me", he says, and it's another thing only her Killian would know. It's happening more and more as the time passes, and she's certain that any day now he's gonna come back to her; she's gonna look at him and he's gonna be looking back at her, all his memories finally restored.

"I'm not trying to keep it from you, I just don't know how to say it", Emma says, looking at him, wishing he could look at her _now_ and read it in her face.

"Come one lass, just tell me", he says, and Emma leans forward, resting her forehead against his shoulder.

"Remember last night when I cried, and I told you I'm not usually this emotional, and you said that maybe I'm pregnant?" She asks him, her voice muffled, but she knows he heard her loud and clear by the way his entire body grows still. They're standing in the kitchen, Emma waiting for him to say something, hoping he can draw his own conclusion so she doesn't have to say it. Since the spell she'd been constantly afraid of doing or saying something that would confuse him, but this is probably the worst yet because how does she tell him that they're gonna have a baby that was conceived during a time he doesn't even remember?

"Are you?" He says, his voice so low it's more a feeling of his exhaled breath against her skin than a noise she can hear.

"Yes. Are you upset?" She asks miserably, unable to face him yet, not until he tells her that he's okay and that they are gonna be okay.

"Emma", he says her name with such wonder that she doesn't have to look at his face to know he's thrilled, his hand trailing down her arm and going under her shirt to touch her stomach. She pulls away to allow him better access to her baby bump, which is still so small that until today she thought she just had too much cake over Christmas holidays. He caresses it with his knuckles, hair falling over his eyes when he ducks his head and frowns in concentration, as if he's trying to feel the tiny heartbeat through her skin. "I don't think I've ever been this happy", he chuckles, his voice breaking with emotion, and Emma smiles, brushing the dark strands of hair out of his eyes.

"Is it weird, though?"

"No, it's magical", he says, his lips finding hers on the first try, like she's the Earth and he's the Moon, irrevocably drawn to her, now and always.

* * *

"Do you feel like everything is falling into place?" She asks him as they walk through the darkened town because Emma is too restless to sleep. It's not just the baby; it's the anticipation of his memories coming back, of him being exactly as he was before.

"You're still hoping I'll get my sight back", he says, tilting his head toward her. He doesn't try and meet her eyes anymore, and Emma finds it easier this way because she doesn't get that feeling of wild hope when she thinks he can see her again, but she hates the fact that he seems to be accepting his fate. It's just like him, because despite everything that's happened to him and everything he's been through, he's always so damn stoic. It used to drive her up the wall, and sometimes it still does.

"You don't?" She asks, stopping him in the middle of the sidewalk and looking up, trying to read his expression.

"It's been over two months. You're almost at the end of our story, and most of it doesn't ring any bells. I don't think I'll ever be the same as before without that bloody potion, which I'm not gonna drink", he adds hastily when she starts to object. He knows how she feels about that, and she loves him so much for being willing to put it off indifferently for her peace of mind.

"I think you won't need the potion", Emma says, smiling at his confused expression."Wanna know how I know?"

"How can you know?"

"Because we're both fairytale characters, even if I spent most of my life in this world. And fairytale characters always get their happy ending," she says firmly, and it's a newfound belief for her, something she's discovered only a short time ago.

"There's only one problem with your theory", Killian says and they start walking again, somehow ending up on the road that leads to the harbor.

"What's that?" Emma asks, and he smiles to lessen the sting of his words.

"I'm a villain in the story. And we never get our happily ever after."

"You're confusing yourself with Disney's Captain Hook", Emma tells him gently, leading the way down the dock to his boat.

"I just don't want you to be disappointed if I stay like this forever", he says, letting go of her hand and showing his hand and stump into the pockets of his jacket.

"This isn't about me. It's about you wanting to drink the potion, isn't it?" Emma asks, the realization slowly dawning on her that she can't read him any better now than she could when she first met him. The feeling is like a cold hand on the back on her neck, sliding down her spine and making her shiver. She's already half-way into his boat, and even though she hates every inch that separates them, she doesn't go back to him. "Isn't it?"

"Put yourself in my shoes for a moment. I don't know what you're thinking half the time because I can't see your face and it's easier to hide behind the silence. I just want to know what you'd do if this is permanent", he says, pointing at his eyes.

Emma doesn't speak right away because she wants to be sure that she tells him exactly how she feels, not what she thinks he wants to hear. He misinterprets her silence, and there's such sadness and betrayal on his face that Emma neglects her original plan, jumps back on the dock and kisses him, pouring everything she feels in her kiss, drawing him as close as humanly possible with their clothes still on.

"I only care if you can see because of you, because I can see you struggle sometimes and it's breaking my heart. The only reason for my reluctance with the potion is the possibility of you forgetting me again, but this time, instead of believing me when I tell you we are in love, you leave me. I can't be without you anymore", she tells him, words tumbling out quickly, her hands wrapped around his waist tightly, holding him in place, willing him to see with his heart if not with his eyes what he means to her. She knows her voice is rising, becoming shrill and desperate by the end, but she can't help it. He needs to believe her because she needs him now more than she has ever needed him.

"Okay, okay, it's okay love", he says, pulling her close and gently rocking her, even apologizing for upsetting her. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

"You better not", Emma says, laughing though the tears she wipes off on his shirt before he notices.

"Cross my heart", he says solemnly, and puts his hand against her heart. It's the closest he's come to telling her he loves her, but for now it's enough.

They snuggle under a blanket on the deck of the boat and Emma describes the starry sky in as much detail as she can, naming all the constellations she knows, most of which she had learned from him.

"I never asked you if you missed being a pirate, and now you don't know", she says wistfully, and he chuckles.

"I don't think I did. I had you, and I still had the sailing and an occasional fight with Gold. We had enough money to live comfortably, so what was there to miss?"

"Open water?"

"Months at sea with forty dirty and unkempt men who couldn't follow orders worth a damn? I think not." He pauses, then reconsiders. "Maybe a little bit."

"You told me once I'd make a hell of a pirate", Emma says, running her finger through the stubble on his cheek.

"You're good at everything you do. Hadn't you noticed?"

"Except dancing", Emma says, wrinkling her nose. It seems impossible since her parents are so good at it, but she suspects she gets her two left feet from one of her grandparents.

"What? Really?"

"You tried to teach me once, and it was embarrassing", Emma says, trying to block the memory of her stumbling around the living room, unable to find any kind of rhythm and storming off two minutes later.

"I don't believe it was that bad", he says, twirling a lock of her hair around his finger.

"Trust me, it was."

"Well, I'm gonna try again. We're gonna be dancing at our wedding, and a princess like yourself can't embarrass both herself and her parents."

Emma's heart speeds up at the mention of a wedding, of her and dancing in the same sentence, but he doesn't say anything else so she settles comfortably against his shoulder, inhaling his scent and feeling his warmth seeping into her.

That night she dreams only of dancing, gliding over a crystal dance floor with Killian, never missing a single step.

* * *

**Review?**


	19. I Would Always Choose You

**I just saw the new episode and I am dead. If CS doesn't end up being endgame I'll be so heartbroken, but I'll keep shipping them anyway, forever. Here's the new chapter; I tried to get Neal out of their hair as soon as possible, but the damage was already done...  
**

* * *

_Storybrooke, nine months ago_

Killian drops the cooler and moves closer to Emma, and Neal pauses, waiting for her to come to him. Emma stays where she is, a part of her wishing she and Killian had stayed on the boat, and another part anxious to hear Neal's explanation. If he's here, that means he wants her back, or he somehow found out about Henry, and neither of those things are particularly thrilling at the moment. She steps around Killian and comes closer to Neal, amazed at how much older he looks.

"What are you doing here?" She asks him, her voice cold and unwelcoming. She sounds calmer than you'd expect, and she's a bit proud of herself for that.

"I heard that the curse was broken, so I decided to face you and try to explain why I left you", Neal tells her, and she's confused, uncertainty creeping into her at the mention of the curse.

"You knew about the curse?" She asks, her voice trembling, and when Neal comes closer, she steps back, Killian's presence behind her like a comforting blanket.

"Is that Neal?" He asks her, his lips next to her ear, and she just nods, never taking her eyes off the man who told her he loved her and then put her in jail, disappearing without a trace.

She knows Killian's going to punch him even before he moves and Neal goes down like a potato sack, but she doesn't stop him. She wanted to do that for such a long time herself, but now that Neal's here, she just can't bring herself to do it.

"Who the Hell are you?" Neal cries out, his lip bleeding. He climbs to his feet and sways a little, and Emma finally glances at Killian, who's looking at Neal like he's the worst scum on the face of the earth.

"Killian Jones", he says curtly with a little bow, then points his finger at Emma. "Her flatmate."

"And my boyfriend", Emma hastily adds, and both of them look at her with surprise written all over their faces.

"What she said", Killian says with a grin, and Emma smiles back.

"Can we talk in private?" Neal more demands than asks, and Emma knows she needs to at least give him a chance to explain, but she doesn't want to. For the first time in her life she's exactly where she wants to be, and she doesn't want to risk it, because no matter how much she likes Killian, Neal is still her weak spot.

"You can come inside", Emma says, but she grasps Killian's hand and doesn't intend to let it go. She tells herself she's allowing Neal a chance to reconnect with Henry, and that's all there is to it. She doesn't want to hear his explanations, and she doesn't want to forgive him because he still owns a part of her heart, and a part of her wants to give him another chance. Killian squeezes her hand reassuringly and she prays for strength, for wisdom and courage to make the right choice when the time comes.

* * *

Instead of going to bed with Killian, she's sitting in the kitchen with Neal, listening to him blame August for everything. He talks about the night he had left her, tells her how he'd been so heartbroken and conflicted, how he wanted to go back a thousand times and see if she's okay. Emma just looks at him, and the more he talks the further away she feels from him. He keeps telling her it wasn't his fault, and she just wants him to stop and go away. She finally explodes when he tells her that he deserves another chance.

"Are you kidding me? You put me in jail! You left me alone when I needed you most, and I had to give up our baby because you thought I couldn't break the curse if you were by my side", she practically screams, and hears Killian stop his pacing in the living room, probably debating whether or not to come to her side.

"What baby?" Neal asks, his voice small, and Emma wishes she'd just kept quiet and kicked him out without an explanation.

"I had a son, and I was alone, so I gave him up and it's the worse feeling you can imagine, and I hated you. If you had stayed, I could've kept him, I could've seen him smile for the first time and take his first steps, and I still could've broken the curse."

"He said I was a distraction!"

"You're a coward", Emma tells him calmly, getting up and pointing toward the door. "Now please go. I can't look at you anymore."

"What about our son? Have you ever tried to find him?"

"Henry is at his grandparents' tonight and he's fine. He thinks you died a hero", she tells him, and he looks broken.

"I want to see him. If I can't have you I want to at least meet him", Neal says, and Emma tries to be reasonable.

"I need to think about it. Give me some time to figure out how to tell him that I lied, that you left even before he was born."

"I didn't know-"

"I don't care!" Emma yells, and she realizes she'd been romanticizing him all these years. He was a hero, giving up the life they could've had for some noble purpose, suffering alone just as she was, but now she sees that wasn't the case. He just gave her up, let her go too easy, and now that he's here she can't believe she'd ever fallen for him. "I'll call you when I decide."

"You don't even know-"

"You're staying at Granny's", Emma cuts him off and starts for the door, and he doesn't argue. They pass the living room and she gives a sheepish smile to Killian who's sitting on the sofa, rubbing his stump with his hand as if he's trying not to punch Neal again.

"I'm sorry", Neal says when he exits the house, and Emma nods, somehow not slamming the door in his face.

"I know", she says and it's a relief to watch him go.

She leans against the door and closes her eyes for a moment, before she goes to the living room and sits on the arm of the sofa next to Killian.

"Are you well?" He asks her, and she smiles at his archaic choice of words, tangling her fingers in his hair and just looking down at him, feeling better already.

"Can we not talk about him?" She asks, and he pulls her down into his lap.

"Your word is my command", he tells her, and she kisses him, trying to get Neal out of her head. Killian returns her kiss, but then pulls away, and she knows what's coming even before he says it. "You modern wenches, so forward. But I don't think we should do what we had intended to before that wanker showed up."

"Why not?"

"Well, risking sounding like a woman, I think it should be about us, not you trying to forget him."

Emma laughs, kissing him again, just a quick touching of her lips to his. "You're nothing like I had expected", she tells him, resting her forehead against his.

"You thought I was a rude pirate, so I guess it's a good thing you changed your mind", he says, and that's the moment she knows he's the one for her. It's a sudden feeling that overcomes her, spreads through her like wildfire, until it's all she can think about. It's not rational, nothing she can measure; she just _knows_, without a shadow of a doubt. "What?" Killian asks, frowning.

"What what?"

"You looked miles away", he says, his eyes searching her face.

"I'm right here", she tells him, scrambling up and pulling him to his feet.

"Where are we going?"

"To the bedroom", Emma says, her eyes dancing with laugher.

"I thought we said we wouldn't", Killian says, and she pouts.

"You said that", she teases, smiling because he looks tempted to quit being a gentleman and just take her right there. The worst thing is – she would let him.

"I'm regretting it more every second", he says, his hand sliding around her waist.

"You can still change your mind", she says softly and shrieks when he pushes her against the wall and kisses her, her blood catching fire and racing through her veins so fast she hears it rushing in her ears. She can't remember ever being kissed like this, hard then soft, slow then fast, her body aching with need for more. It's not too long before they're both panting like a couple of teenagers and he pulls away resting his forehead against the wall next to her, his hand still on her waist.

"You are going to be the death of me", he says, and Emma bites his neck lightly, then runs her tongue over the stubble, enjoying the salty taste of his skin, looking up at him with all the temptation she can muster. She likes teasing him because it's clear he really is a gentleman, and she loves him for that. It wouldn't be right to do it now when a part of her brain is still busy trying to find a way to include Neal in Henry's life, but not in hers.

"C'mon", she says and tugs him into the bedroom, where they lay down on her bed, Emma settling with her head on his chest.

"I'd take a cold shower, but I don't think it would help", he says looking down at her with joy dancing in his ocean eyes, and catches her hand when she tries to unbuckle his belt. "Emma, please", he practically growls, and she finally gives up.

"I never thought pirates were so honorable", she says wistfully, and he shrugs.

"I wasn't always a pirate", he says, and Emma is intrigued.

"No?"

"Of course not." He seems weirdly offended that she thought he was.

"Will you tell me how you became a pirate?" She asks him, wrapping her fingers around his wrist, pressing the bumpy bone there with her thumb.

"I will." And he does, the sound of his voice like a lullaby, calming her, her racing heart slowing as all the thoughts about Neal and the uncertain future are replaced with Killian's story. She's acutely aware of his arms around her, of the rising and falling of his chest under her cheek, his scent and how his accent makes ordinary words seem sexy. There are butterflies in her stomach and for the first time in a decade she feels like she belongs.

* * *

**Review?**


	20. Birthdays and Nightmares

**Many of you have said that you don't want this fic to end, and I'm with you all the way. I love getting your feedback and I love writing this, especially because when I had started, I've never imagined such enthusiasm on your part. I guess that's CS for you; it's hard to go wrong with these two. Thank you all so much, and enjoy; there are only two more chapters after this, plus the epilogue.**

* * *

On the morning of her 31st birthday Emma wakes to Killian trailing kisses from her hip, up her ribs and breasts, to her neck and finally her lips. She wraps her arms around him and rolls them so that she's on top, settling against him, warmth instantly pooling down low in her belly.

"And happy birthday to me", Emma says, running her hands over his chest and down, but he stops her before she can reach the edge of his pajama bottoms. He looks pissed off, and she frowns, her hand stilling under his.

"I can't believe nobody told me", he says, rolling her over so that he's on top again. "Happy birthday, darling", he says, kissing her, and she can't believe it either. It's partially her fault; she kept forgetting to tell Henry to tell him. "I didn't buy you anything", he says when they separate, but she doesn't need any gifts; there's nothing else she needs if she's got him and Henry.

"Don't worry about that. You already gave me a present", she says, guiding his hand to her belly. He smiles and kisses her nose. His hand is so warm on her skin, and Emma squirms when he replaces it with his lips.

"Hello baby", he says, and Emma brushes hair off his forehead, the strength of her feelings for him and the baby and Henry, making her a little teary-eyed. "How long until she moves?" He asks her, and Emma smiles to herself because he is so certain it's a girl.

"About a month, maybe a bit longer. How do you know it's not a boy?"

"We already have Henry. Wouldn't it be good to have a girl now so I can spoil her rotten?" He asks her, talking in between kisses he presses upon her face. She giggles and then he finds her lips and it's suddenly hot, sparks racing over her skin everywhere her skin comes into contact with his. She slides her hand into his boxers just when Henry bursts in singing _happy birthday_ and carrying a cupcake. Killian buries his face in a pillow next to Emma's shoulder, and Emma scrambles to pull down her tank top. Henry starts singing louder and Killian rolls onto his back and joins in, his hand going under the covers. She grips his fingers and halts them before he finds his objective and sits up to take the cupcake from Henry.

"Make a wish", he says excitedly, and Emma glances at Killian, who's grinning up at her, but his eyes are focused somewhere over her shoulder. She thinks that as long as he's blind, she'll never wish for anything other than him seeing again.

Emma closes her eyes, wishes for a miracle and blows out the candle.

* * *

Snow and David throw her a surprise party that isn't much of a surprise because Henry is even worse at keeping secrets than Killian. When Emma asks Snow why hadn't they told Killian about the party, Snow looks down at their entwined hands and doesn't say a thing.

"What?" Killian asks, and Emma presses her nose against his shoulder and shakes her head.

"Ignore her. She thinks we're spending too much time together."

"Should I go away?" Killian asks, his grin letting her know he's not serious.

"No thank you. I like you where you are", she says, and even Snow can't take the saccharine sweet romance anymore, and goes to mingle with the guests. It's almost the same list of guests as it was for the Christmas party, and Emma spends a good part of the evening accepting good wishes and gifts and congratulations on the baby, which everybody seems to know about already.

"How about some music?" Ruby calls out and presses the button on the remote, turning on the stereo in the corner. David and Leroy push the couches and coffee table against the wall, and Emma starts edging away from the dance floor.

"Are you trying to avoid dancing?" Killian asks her, and effectively stops her with a kiss.

"It's my birthday. I can't embarrass myself today", Emma says, watching David twirl Snow around, their bodies in perfect sync.

"Emma… Please dance with me", he says, and there's something in the tone of his voice that makes it impossible for Emma to decline his offer.

"Okay. But not this song. It's too fast", she says, dragging her feet as he leads her toward the crowd on the dance floor. She's once again surprised at his sense of direction, and faith that people will leave a path clear for him, which miraculously, they always seem to do.

Just as they reach the dance floor "Evacuate the Dancefloor" fades out and "Come Away With Me" starts playing. Emma thinks it's a bit too convenient and suspects a conspiracy, but Snow avoids her eyes and she's got no choice but let Killian hold her and start moving her feet.

"Stop. Close your eyes and just listen", he says, and she obeys, feeling his arm go around her waist while he brings her hand to his chest and covers it with his, the music gently washing over her. Slowly, they start swaying to the music, then they start to do tiny steps, and Emma can't believe that it's working. It's nothing like that one time dance lesson he gave her, maybe because of the song, or maybe because this Killian is much more relaxed, and definitely more patient.

It feels incredibly good to follow his lead and dance cheek to cheek without missing a beat or making a fool of herself. She opens her eyes and sees Henry grinning at her, giving her thumbs up, and she's actually sad when the song ends, replaced with something fast she'd never attempt dancing to.

"That wasn't so bad, now was it?" Killian says as she leads him off to the side and guides his hand to a chair, sitting down on his lap and leaning against him before speaking.

"It was beautiful", she says, and thinks that "Come Away With Me" just became their official song. She makes a face because she's becoming even worse than her mother.

"There you go. Now you can say you're good at everything", he says, and Emma laughs.

"I'd still be hopeless if you hadn't been there to lead", she says, and he kisses her shoulder, smiling against her skin.

"So you're not quite ready to attempt a waltz?" He asks her, and she smacks his shoulder.

"Don't push your luck."

* * *

Emma and Killian walk home alone because Henry's asleep in Snow's room and nobody wants to wake him up. She will have to wake up early to bring him his stuff for school tomorrow, but she doesn't mind, even though she knows it's more than likely that Killian would have to drag her out of bed to do so.

"Is it midnight?" Killian asks her as they walk past the library, and Emma glances up at the big clock that reads 11:55.

"Not for another 5 minutes", she tells him, and he breathes a sigh of relief, pulling a long, thin box out of his jacket pocket.

"Then it's still your birthday and I can give you your gift", he says, and hands it to her.

Emma tears away the paper and hands it back to him, opens the box and takes out a beautiful bracelet with pendants dangling from it.

"I thought you would like it, even if it clashes with your tough sheriff image", he says, and Emma examines each of the pendants. There's a swan, handcuffs, a star, a pirate ship and a tiny hook which is only next to the swan when the bracelet is clasped on.

"I love it. Help me put it on", she says, and gives him the end with the clasp. She wraps the bracelet around her wrist and they join the two parts, the swan's beak kissing the tip of the hook with an audible _clink_.

"It was actually Henry's idea. He was appalled that no one bothered to tell me that today was your birthday, and I didn't have anything to give you."

"I told you not to worry about that. But how did you put this together without me noticing?" She asks, picking up the wrapping paper and throwing it in the waste basket along the way, the bracelet jangling gently on her wrist. Killian tilts his head to the side, listening to the sound, and finds her hand on the first try. It makes her smile, but at the same time it makes her sad. She shakes it off and focuses on what he's telling her instead.

"When you went in the shower Henry and I called David and he and Snow went to pick up the bracelet and the pendants. She kept saying it's a miracle that they had all the ones I wanted, but I think this is the kind of town where that kind of coincidence shouldn't surprise anyone, least of all the original fairytale princess."

"I think it's fate, not coincidence", Emma says, surprising him with a kiss, but he recovers quickly. She gasps when he leans her back, holding onto him and thinking that Hell would sooner freeze over than he'd ever let her fall, and when he kisses her, it's like she's flying.

* * *

It feels like she had just gone to sleep when Killian's scream wakes her up with a start. She turns on the bedside lamp and scoots closer to him. He's still asleep, his eyes moving under his eyelids, his head turning from side to side. His forehead is damp, hair sticking to it, and his T-shirt is almost completely soaked through. Emma grabs his shoulder and shakes him gently, trying to wake him up without frightening him any worse than he apparently is already.

"Wake up, honey, c'mon, wake up", she murmurs, and his eyes go wide open, moving from left to right as he tries to see what can't be seen. "Shhh, it's okay", she says, cupping his face and leaning close, talking to him until he shakes off the nightmare.

"It was Milah", he says softly, wiping his forehead with his wrist.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Emma asks, expecting a negative answer because he never could talk about Milah. It brought the urge to take revenge on Gold too close to the surface, so she never pushed him.

"I think I was remembering the past. First we were travelling, crossing oceans and visiting so many places, and I loved her so much. I couldn't show her the affection when we were among my men, but in private I did, and I think she knew, even if I had never told her. Then suddenly the dream changed and we were on my ship, and _Rumpelstiltskin_ pulled her heart out of her chest right in front of me. I couldn't move, couldn't do anything, no matter how hard I struggled, and he just laughed and laughed and laughed."

Emma cradles his head against her chest and tries to point out the positive side of the nightmare. "I know it hurts to remember, but maybe now those other memories will come back too."

Killian closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, sounding so frustrated that Emma wishes she hadn't said anything. "I'm tired, Emma. Just when I tell myself I'm okay the way I am something comes back and I can't stop this stupid hope from rising again, hope that all my memories will come back to me and I'll be as I was."

"Having hope is never a bad thing", Emma tells him but she feels exactly the same, and it's the worst feeling in the world.

* * *

**Review?**


	21. Show Me Heaven

**Here you go guys, final flashback chapter. I think you'll be happy to hear that I have an idea for a new CS fic, but I can't get to it until after my finals are done. Enjoy the new chapter, and thank you again for all your reviews and encouragement.**

* * *

_Storybrooke, eight months ago_

Emma goes to see Neal after work, while Killian and Henry stay at home and make pancakes for dinner. It's been two days since Neal's sudden appearance, and Emma still hadn't find a way to tell Henry. She had decided to talk to Neal first, see what's on his mind and how involved he wants to be in Henry's life.

When she gets to Granny's B&B and asks for him, Granny gives her a knowing look and tells her that he's gone. Apparently, he spent a single night in Storybrooke, and was gone the next morning.

Emma can't remember the last time she was this furious, her hands shaking as Granny gives her the letter he had left for her. She storms out without a word, deliberately closing the door gently because if she slams it, she's afraid all the glass in it will break. Her hand closes in a fist around the letter, and she's tempted to just throw it away without reading it. She thinks how much worse everything would've been if she had told Henry that his father is alive and in Storybrooke, and she wants to break something, preferably Neal's face.

She finds herself back home without realizing how she even got there, kicking off her shoes and throwing her jacket in the closet, slamming the door without waiting to see where it lands.

"Emma? How come- What happened?" Killian asks coming down the hallway, and Emma's fury slowly drains away from the mere sight of her pirate wearing an apron which reads "kiss the cook". Henry appears behind Killian's shoulder, and Emma manages a smile for his benefit, her eyes telling Killian to drop it for now.

"You two finish the pancakes, and I have to do something alone", Emma starts toward her room, but Killian grabs her wrist when she passes by him and pulls her back, just looking at her. "I'm fine", she tells him, but it means so much that he understands that she's really not. She doesn't care about Neal, but she cares about her son, and it kills her to think how close she was to having to break his heart.

"The pancake is burning", Henry calls from the kitchen, and Emma pushes Killian away gently, giving him a quick peck on the lips.

Neal's letter is exactly what she expects; "I don't want to disrupt your life", "I don't deserve to be in Henry's life", and a dozen more meaningless excuses. She tears the thing in little pieces and burns it in the bathroom sink, unable to believe that he gave up on both her and Henry the second he saw that she had moved on. Selfishly, she's glad that Killian was there, because if he hadn't been, Neal could've stayed in hopes of winning her back, and the outcome would've been the same; he would leave again, and the hurt would be twice as bad. At least Henry is protected now, unaware of what a bastard his father really is.

By the time pancakes are done, Emma is a little calmer, and not even the disaster area that is the kitchen can faze her. Killian keeps watching her carefully, and to her surprise, she welcomes the attention. It's good to have someone who genuinely cares if she's upset or sad, even though they can't talk about it until Henry goes to bed.

"What's wrong?" Henry asks her when she comes to wish him good night, and Emma sits on his bed and tells him that she loves him and that nothing is wrong. He's too smart to believe her, but he just kisses her and tells her he loves her too. Emma tucks the covers in and tells him the made up version of her and Neal's love story, the one he's heard a hundred times but still loves hearing again.

"I'm glad you found Killian to love now", Henry tells her when she's already at the doorway, and Emma smiles to herself.

"Good night, Henry."

"Good night, mum."

* * *

Killian is waiting for her on the sofa and puts his arm around her when she drops down next to him. Emma settles against him and stares at the dark night outside the windows, trying to put into words how disappointed she is.

"Should I go beat him up?" Killian asks, only half-joking, and she snorts completely unladylike.

"He's not in town anymore. He knew I'd slug him if he had stayed to tell me that shit he'd written in his stupid letter."

"You mean he just left?" Killian sounds incredulous, and Emma turns to look at him. He puts her legs across his thighs and he's so warm, and he smells so good that it's hard to hold onto her anger.

"He's a coward and I should've expected this", she says, tracing the scar on his stump with her finger. Killian goes completely still, his eyes finding hers, and she stops, but keeps her fingers wrapped around it. "What?"

"Nothing", he says, and Emma goes back to her ministrations. Instinctively, she understands that he was wearing that hook for so long, hiding what was under it from the world, and there probably weren't many people who'd seen his stump, much less touched it. If she's objective, it looks bad, but at the same time it doesn't because it's a part of him. She leans down and presses her lips against it, and when she looks up at him and smiles, tentatively, he smiles back.

"I don't want to talk about him anymore", Emma says, and Killian nods, holding her gaze and brushing a lock of her hair behind her ear, his hand cupping her face. Her eyes drift closed and his kiss is like magic, healing her and making her fall even more in love with him.

* * *

It's been over a week since Neal's unexpected visit and even more unexpected departure, and Emma feels almost grateful because it's made her and Killian take things slow. They cuddle on the sofa every night and watch TV after Henry goes to bed, but tonight it feels different. She comes into the living room, sees Killian's perfect profile, and something in her heart flutters; it's like an equation coming together in her head, and she knows that this is the night they move forward.

As if sensing her mood he looks at her and instead of sitting down next to him, she straddles his lap, her eyes never leaving his. She's nervous and excited, drowning in his eyes and getting the weirdest impulse to pinch herself. Her skin sings when he pulls her head down with a hand on the back of her neck, their lips meeting with an electric charge, her eyes fluttering closed. He leans her down, biting her lower lip, a soft moan escaping her lips when his hand goes under her shirt, his fingers caressing her skin.

"Not here", Emma pants, and his lips move to her neck. Everything is happening so fast and his hand seems to be everywhere at once, making her dig her fingers into his shoulders. He gathers her in his arms and caries her toward her bedroom, moving slowly by Henry's room, but there's only the sound of his breathing coming from inside.

Killian closes the door of her room with his foot and sets her down on her feet, his eyes moving over her hungrily. It's like there's a fire in his blue gaze, her skin burning even before he touches her. She's a little bit scared because it's been a long time since her guard came down like this, since she went to bed with someone and had every intention of waking up with them, but the second his fingers meet her skin she's calm again. There's no one and nothing more important than the two of them, coming together in perfect sync, clothes pooling on the floor as they undress each other.

He kisses her, and she stumbles back toward the bed, pulling him along, her fingers counting vertebrae up his spine. For someone with five fingers less than her other lovers, he's way better, her breathing getting heavier, her legs spreading to allow him better access. She bites his earlobe and enjoys the tiniest hitch in his breathing, but soon she can't concentrate on anything at all, his clever fingers driving her crazy with need.

"Please", she whispers, not even recognizing the sound of her own voice. He pulls away to look at her, a devilish smile on his face as he keeps teasing her. Emma sits up and cups _him_ with her small hand, their eyes locked together.

"Aren't you a feisty lass", he says, gasping the last word out and biting his lip as she moves her hand up and down the length of him.

"You have no idea", Emma tells him and leans forward, pressing her breasts against his chest. He drops his head and takes her nipple in his mouth, and Emma arches her back, thinking that it has to be him, has to be the way she feels about him that allows him to do this to her with such a simple touch.

When he finally enters her, Emma wraps her arms around him as tight as she can and leaves bite marks on his shoulder, rather than wake up Henry with the scream that wants to come out of her mouth. She thinks that this is _the_ proof that he must be the right one for her, and the way he keeps repeating her name louder and louder only makes her more certain. She only just manages to put her hand over his mouth before they both tumble over the edge of sanity and take flight together.

"Where are you going?" Emma asks drowsily when Killian tries to get up without waking her. It's still dark outside, and she climbs to her knees, wrapping her arms around his neck from behind.

"Henry will notice if the sofa wasn't slept on. Again", Killian tells her with a half smile, trying to pry her arms apart. Emma just holds on and waits until he stops fighting her.

"Henry knows I'm in love with you", she tells him, and the words come out so easily, tasting so good on her lips she wishes she'd told him sooner, maybe even made the first move.

The look on his face can't really be described; it makes her heart feel heavy because he looks so surprised, like he can't really believe she feels like that about him.

"Come back to bed", Emma says softly, pressing her lips against his stubbled cheek, and releasing him, lying down on her side of the bed. She knows that it's over; no matter what happens next, no matter what curveball life throws at them, his place in her bed and in her heart will remain safe. He has always been her one true love; it was only a matter of time until they found their way to each other.

Killian gets back under the covers with her and Emma settles against his shoulder with a sigh, pressing a kiss against his chest.

"I'm in love with you too", Killian says against her ear, and Emma smiles to herself.

"I know."

* * *

**Review?**


	22. It's Just Love

**So, here we are. This is almost the end (the epilogue tomorrow), and I can't thank you enough for your support. I'm honored that you stayed with me and this fic, and I hope you enjoyed the journey. I have two chapters written of the new fic, and even though that one won't have any connection to this one, keep an eye out, probably sometime in the second week of February. Thank you again, and don't forget to read the epilogue tomorrow.**

* * *

"We were together, and we were happy, and then Gold came and messed it all up", Emma says, running her fingers through Killian's hair. She's sitting on the sofa with his head in her lap, and she feels oddly relieved now that she's finished telling him their story, now that he knows everything.

Killian raises his hand slowly, until his fingers encounter her chin, and then caresses her cheek with his knuckles. Emma closes her eyes and concentrates on how it feels, how gentle he is when he runs his fingers over her face, trying to read her without seeing her.

"You think you should've gone over the line instead of me", he says, and it's not a question.

Emma shrugs, tracing his nose with her finger. "I was the one who owed Gold a favor. I never should've let you do it for me." His eyes open and focus on hers. After all this time, even though she knows it's just a coincidence, it takes her breath away.

"From what you've told me, it seems that I didn't give you a choice in the matter", he tells her calmly, and she wonders how he can be so stoic about it. If she'd gone over instead of him, he'd still have both his memories and his sight.

"I should've fought you harder, but you said that Henry needed me, and that wasn't fair", she says, remembering how he had never for a second though that she should do it.

"Henry always needs you, and it was a right way to go, putting him first. He's your son, and I was just someone you were in love with", he says, and it's painfully obvious that he thinks she would never, ever, not in a million years put him over Henry. The truth is, if it ever came to that, if she ever had to choose between them, that decision would tear her apart, and even though she'd probably choose Henry because he's her little boy, she would never be the same without the love of her life.

"Stand up", she tells him softly, and he raises his eyebrows quizzically. "Come on, I need to tell you something."

"You can't tell me when I'm laying down?" He asks with a smile, but Emma persists. He finally obeys and stands up, giving her his hand. She's nowhere near the phase in her pregnancy when she needs it, but he's always a gentleman, even when he doesn't remember it.

Emma wraps her arms around his neck and looks up at him, his arms going around her and pulling her close so that she needs to arch her back to keep looking at him. He hates it when she says he's beautiful because it's not manly at all, but it's the perfect description of his face.

"What do you want to tell me, then?"

"I love you." It's not what she had wanted to say. She wanted to say that she's sorry, that she wishes she was stronger, because if she had crossed that line things may have turned out differently. The magic in her would probably help Gold's spell to work properly, and she'd be perfectly okay. She wants him to know that and tell her he'd do it anyway but that's not what comes out. Still, it's the pure truth, and it's the first time she says it out loud, and the first time he hears it, so she's not taking it back.

"I love you", he says softly, and Emma blinks a couple of times, because she doesn't believe him, not now, not when he forgot everything they've been though.

"You don't have to say it if-", she tries to tell him that it's okay, that she doesn't expect him to say it back. All they have is time, and there's no need to rush this, no need to say empty words just for the sake of saying them. He cuts her off and his arms tighten around her.

"I love you", he repeats, and she realizes it's the truth; it's written on his face, it's in his eyes and in his touch, and she can't believe she had doubted him for even a second.

"I love you", Emma repeats, trying the words again, tasting them this time, feeling her heart expanding when she says them, and he smiles that beautiful smile, pressing his forehead against hers.

"I'm glad you made me stand up for this", he says, and she chuckles, her eyes fastened on his lips. If they are ever going to try true love's kiss, it should be now, because this is the moment it could actually work; their feelings for each other are out in the open and there isn't any space between them, literal or metaphorical.

"What's for dinner?" Henry asks from the doorway, and Emma sighs, turning and leaning her shoulder against Killian's chest. She's still in the circle of his arms and she doesn't feel like leaving it ever again, but she can't exactly let her son starve while she's trying to fix Killian with a kiss.

"What do you want to eat, lad?" Killian asks him, and Henry pretends to think about it, but Emma knows what his answer's going to be because it's always the same when they let him pick dinner.

"Pizza?" He makes it sound like a question, and Killian shakes his head.

"Again?"

"You asked what I wanted." Henry points out, already bouncing on his feet at the promise of his favorite meal.

"Fine, fine, we're having pizza", Killian agrees and Emma can already see he's going to be even worse with their baby. She follows him into the kitchen and gets the ingredients out of the fridge while he opens the cupboards and searches for flour. She can't remember the last time they ordered dinner; he seems to remember all of the recipes he learned when he first got to Storybrooke, and she's glad because she never was much of a cook.

All through the preparations, Emma is almost bursting from anticipation, trying not to get her hopes up and failing miserably. She's certain that this is the night he will come back to her; this is the night when her pirate and this man he is now will become one and the same. She sits on the kitchen stool and looks at him as he makes the dough, so sure of what's he doing even in the dark. Henry's sitting next to her, looking at her with his head in his hands.

"You seem different", he tells her, and Emma realizes it's time to tell him she's pregnant. She's in her second trimester, the baby is fine, she is better than fine, and there's no point in keeping it from him anymore.

"Well, I am a bit different", she says, and Killian raises his head as if looking at them.

"What do you mean?" Henry asks with a frown, and Emma waits for Killian's approval.

"Tell him", he says with a smile and goes back to the task at hand.

"You're going to have a baby sister", she says, and waits for an attack of questions that's inevitable, considering Henry's curiosity.

Henry looks at Killian and then back at her, and then he throws himself at her, almost toppling her over. "When will she be born? Where is she going to sleep? We can share a room, I don't care. What are we going to name her? How come you haven't gone shopping with Mary Margaret yet?"

"Slow down kid, we have four more months to get ready", she tells him, pulling the sonogram from her back pocket. She and Killian had been to her gynecologist last week and Emma will never forget the look on his face when the small room filled with the sound of their daughter's heartbeat. He had caressed the back of her hand and she had to blink fast not to cry and embarrass herself.

Henry stares at the picture and traces the outline of the shadowy form with his finger, smiling brilliantly at her.

"You don't have to buy me anything for my birthday; this is the best present ever", he says, and Emma glances at Killian, unable to believe this is going be so easy. As if sensing her gaze's on him, Killian shakes his head and turns his head toward Henry.

"You're sure? Babies seem cute, but they're noisy little buggers; you might change your mind when she's born", he teases, and Henry nods quickly, then catches himself.

"My sister won't be a noisy bugger", he says proudly, imitating Killian's accent. Emma chuckles and stands up to help Killian with cheese and tomato sauce.

* * *

They spend the evening watching "Pirates of the Caribbean" again, Emma leaning against Killian's chest and Henry settled on his other side. It's ironic that Killian remembers the plot of all the movies and cartoons he and Henry had watched since he came to Storybrooke, but can't remember important stuff like their first kiss or making love to her for the first time, or even crossing that line and turning their lives upside down.

"Jack Sparrow is the worst pirate in existence", Killian says as Jack loses his ship again.

"But he's fun", Henry exclaims, taking another slice of pizza from the coffee table.

"I think he likes him more than me", Killian mock whispers to Emma, and Henry hastens to tell him that he's better than Jack. Despite all the changes, and the fact that this Killian isn't the same as the one who fist got to Storybrooke, Henry still feels exactly the same about him. It shouldn't really surprise her because she's like that too, only she hadn't realized it until recently. She has spent so much time trying to bring her pirate back, and he'd been here the entire time.

When the movie is over she does the dishes as Killian goes to tuck Henry in. She hums the theme from the movie to herself, and almost jumps out of her skin when Killian appears behind her, nuzzling her neck.

"Leave it", he tells her, and she wipes her hands and follows him into the living room. "Now, where were we?" He asks and pulls her close, and Emma realizes they are standing in exactly the same place and in exactly the same position as a couple of hours ago.

Emma looks at him, takes in every line on his face and watches him close his eyes and bring his head down toward her. She meets him half way, and then there's magic dancing in the air around them, rainbow colors imprinted on the inside of her lids, love flowing out of her and into him, healing everything in its path.

* * *

**Review?**


	23. Epilogue

**I don't want this story to be over any more than you do, but this is the end of the line. It has been an incredible journey, and I'm glad you were here to share all my crazy feels... I wanna thank each and every one of you who read, favorited, reviewed or added an alert, and I hope you check up on me once in a while, because I know I'm not done with Captain Swan, and I'll have more stories to tell in the future. Enjoy, and thank you for everything.**

* * *

Emma Swan kisses him, and everything comes rushing back. He can remember every touch, every smile, every word she has ever said, the exact shade of her hair the first day he saw her, fear in her eyes when he went over the line, and everything in between. His eyes are still closed when she pulls away, and he stands there holding her close, hoping that when he opens them, everything will be as crystal clear as it ever was.

"Killian?" Emma says his name with a note of such hope in her voice that he's more worried of disappointing her than of the fact that he may still be blind. Slowly, he opens his eyes and blinks a few times, bright lights in the living room a bit too harsh after such a long time in the dark.

"Emma", he whispers her name, tracing her cheek with his finger, watching realization dawning in her incredible eyes.

"Can you…" she still asks for confirmation, and he nods vehemently, his eyes drinking her in. "And the memories?"

"I remember everything", he says, gathering her in his arms and twirling her around. Emma laughs and holds on tight but then he remembers their baby and sets her gently on her feet. He lifts her shirt and puts his hand on her baby bump, suddenly overcome with emotion when he feels their daughter kick against his palm. "Where's the sonogram?" He asks, looking around the room, so impatient to see what their little girl looks like.

Emma pulls it out of her pocket and he looks at the picture, frowning at the shadowy something that's supposed to be a baby.

"Did you expect an actual picture?" Emma asks him gently, pushing him down on the sofa and sitting next to him. She's looking at the sonogram over his shoulder, pointing out the head to him, for once not making fun of his confusion with the wonders of the modern world.

"You said I would see her", he says, and Emma kisses his cheek, pushing hair away from his forehead.

"Just a couple more months and you will."

"Okay then, let me look at you", he says, laying down and taking Emma with him, their faces close, her body on top of his. "God you're beautiful", he says softly, and Emma looks at him and smiles, resting her head on her hand right above his heart.

"Do you really remember everything?" She asks him, taking the sonogram from him and looking at it again.

"Yes."

"Will you tell me about Neverland? I always liked Wendy for a girl, and it goes well with Henry, but I was worried if maybe you wouldn't like it if you didn't like Wendy, or if you liked her too much, and… you never told me about Neverland", Emma says without taking a breath, shifting on top of him, her knee coming dangerously close to his groin. He wraps an arm around her waist and tucks her against the back of the sofa so that her head is cradled in the crook of his arm, and only then her words register.

"There wasn't any Wendy in Neverland", he tells her softly. "You should know better than believe everything you see in Disney movies."

"Maybe she came after you left", Emma says, wrapping her fingers around his stump, her thumb caressing the scar absentmindedly. No matter how many times she touches him there, accepting it as a part of him, his stomach always clenches. It's a violent pleasure he can't really explain beyond the fact that he sees it as the ultimate proof that she loves him, all of him.

"So we're calling her Wendy?" He asks, smoothing Emma's shirt over her baby bump.

"Do you like it?"

"I would like everything you came up with… Well, maybe not Millicent or some such nonsense", he says, and Emma laughs.

"Millicent is out of the race", she agrees, covering his hand with hers. "Do you have any ideas for her middle name?"

"Evelyn? Or Elizabeth?"

"Evelyn", Emma says, and looks at him, tilting her head to the side, silently assessing him.

"What?"

"Wendy Evelyn Swan Jones, or Wendy Evelyn Jones?" She asks, and it's all the encouragement he needs. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a box he'd been carrying around for days, waiting for the right time to ask her to marry him.

"I think Wendy Evelyn Jones sounds better", he tells her, opening the box and turning it toward her so she can see the ring. "Will you marry me?"

"Of course", Emma exclaims instantly, her eyes dancing between his and the ring. He takes it out of the box and it slides easily on her finger.

"When did you buy it?" She asks him, kissing him before he can answer her. He wraps his arms around her and tastes tears on her skin, his heart beating so fast he's certain she can feel it too.

"A few days before Gold asked you for a favor. I found it hidden at the back of my drawer last week, but didn't want to ask you before my sight came back", he tells her, and settles back down with her head against his chest.

"I would've said yes anyway", she says softly, and he smiles.

"I know, but I wanted to see the look on your face."

"I'm glad you waited", she whispers, and he kisses her forehead, her silky, fragrant hair tickling his cheek.

"Me too, love. Me too."

He knows he'll always remember the day she gave him back his sight and agreed to be his wife, no matter how long he gets to live, no matter what happens next. If she's by his side, he can do anything, and if she's not, he will always find a way to come back to her.

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